When I was a toddler, I was a bit of an explorer. And it often got me into trouble. My parents had one of those accordion-style gates, which when stretched created diamonds. That's just how baby gates were in the mid-70s. But I was a small child, and I could squeeze myself through the wooden slats to climb the stairs.
On one such occasion, I found my way into my parents' bathroom so I could apply some eye liner. The thing was I didn't know eye liner from nail polish. And somehow, I managed to untwist the nail polish bottle and attempt to apply the polish to my eye. I guess my mom found me before I did any real damage. I don't remember the incident, of course. But I've heard the story enough, and it's been told in consistently the same way, so I figure it's gotta be true.
On another occasion, one I do have some memory of, I climbed up on the toilet lid, pulled myself onto the sink counter top, stepped into the sink, and flung the medicine cabinet open. Inside I found a bottle of Sure deodorant. The roll-on kind. And I licked it like an ice cream cone. The whole thing. I don't remember its taste, though it couldn't have been that bad if I managed to practically empty the container. Eventually my mom caught up with me and called poison control. And what I remember, aside from climbing from the toilet seat lid to the sink counter top, is having to drink a whole bunch of milk to balance out the "poison" I'd licked into my stomach. But I didn't have to go to the hospital and get my stomach pumped or anything, so that was good. I'm not much of a milk fan, and I secretly (or not so secretly now) attribute that to my deodorant licking adventure.
Well, this morning after I left for work, our impish little Marcie managed to get herself into some trouble, too. I wasn't here, so it was all relayed to me via a phone call I received an hour or two after I'd arrived at work.
Marcie somehow cut her lip. We think it must have just been dry and split, but we just can't really know. How did Jason discover the lip injury? Casey came to tattle on Marcie-- he wanted to be sure Jason knew Marcie had "drawn on her lips with red marker." Of course Jason took one look and knew the crimson color was no marker lines.
After checking out Marcie and making sure she was okay, Jason went into the kitchen. Where he found two chairs pulled up in front of the refrigerator, with the freezer door flung wide open. When he inquired why the chairs were there, Casey explained they wanted to eat some ice, so he and Marcie decided to get it themselves. (They were unsuccessful because the ice is in a drawer, in bag.) Jason closed the door, but worried about how resourceful Casey has become in recent months. We can't help but wonder if Marcie is helping scheme.
Finally, Jason returned to our bedroom and the master bathroom to finish getting ready for work. He noticed the kids' step stool, which pretty much permanently sits in their bathroom in front of their sink, was sitting in front of our sinks instead. He briefly wondered why, and then he quickly got his answer. When he opened his deodorant. There, on his solid bar of deodorant were clear blood markings. As if Marcie had either A. attempted to stop the bleeding by holding the deodorant to her mouth like a bar of ice, or B. decided to test out her own deodorant Popsicle. There were no striations from teeth scraping the top or bite marks, but we imagine Marcie's mouth was nice and dry for quite a while this morning.
On the one hand, I know I should be worried. Very worried. On the other hand, I can't help but think, "That's my girl."