Overparenting

Have you read the NPR article The 'Overparenting' Crisis in School and at Home?

I've given this some real thought.  I don't think we overparent.  We do not do our kids' homework.  Or talk about how "our" soccer team is doing.  We aren't pushing any particular college, major, or career.  We aren't even pushing for specific performance in school (you know, beyond always doing your best work).

 We don't routinely bring homework to our kids at school.  Or food.  And one of our middle school parenting philosophies was that it is the perfect time to make mistakes and learn from them because the consequences were less severe.  We don't email our kids' teachers until we've insisted our kids contact them and try self-advocacy first.  (Though I admit that for IEP and disability-related issues, we will just reach out directly.)

We know that disappointment is healthy.  And overcoming adversity is a desirable skill.

We want our children to be come independent.

So this overparenting - that's not us.

But then, in the back of my mind, there is this small voice that reminds me, "But we still cut up their meat."  And then I'm not so sure . . .

And he’s off!

There have been so many firsts about which I have not written. Plenty of anxious and proud tears over the past decade.

Today Casey heads off to visit his birth family. Without us. Or any adult.

I was able to get an escort pass so I stood with him in a very crowded airport while I waited for him to board. I didn’t feel sad. Or overwhelmed by an inexplicable lump in my throat like I sometimes am with “firsts.” No tears.

I feel some nervousness. But mostly relief with a tinge if worry.

I hope he has fun.

But I hope he misses us, too.

UPDATE: (12:55pm)

So promptly after writing this and proceeding to work, I began using airline tracker software to watch his plane zoom across the United States. So I know he’s landed.

As soon as I saw he’d landed, I wondered, “Why hasn’t he called or texted yet?”  And I immediately texted him. No reply. Yet.