Gross Things Infants and Toddlers Do

I recently received this e-mail from a friend:

Nothing like looking over and seeing that your daughter has spit up on the tile and is now licking/sucking it up. Gross.

Here's my reply:

Yeah. That's gross. Here are some more activities you can look
forward to:

1. Your daughter wandering up to you with a half-eaten hard piece of penne pasta that she clearly picked up the kitchen floor the morning after it was part of her dinner. The half-eaten part has soft ends, so you know the bites are recent.
2. Your daughter down on all fours, licking the carpet where there are pieces of popcorn left over from her afternoon snack. Nevermind that the carpet hasn't been vacuumed in a couple days and the dog has been traipsing all over it.
3. Your daughter drooling because her mouth is so full-- with the hard, small bites dog food your son fed her that day.
4. Your son picking up the dog water dish and tipping it into his mouth, just like you taught him to do with the leftover milk in the breakfast cereal bowl.
5. Your child leaned over into the toilet (yes, you read the right), lapping up the water (at least it was post-flushing).
6. Your child licking up the dirty, bubble-bathy water as it drains out of the tub.

Licking up spit up is gross, but at least it's not full-blown vomit, right?

I must admit, though, I've had four years to collect these stories. So it's not as bad as the list may make it look!