Tate Turns One

   

I decided to document Tate’s extraordinary first birthday (ha ha).  It started with a diaper change

 

and a little play time before breakfast (banana cream pie yogurt and a 6 oz. bottle of whole milk (no formula!)).

We said good-bye to Jason as he went off to work, and we played some more.

Then I popped Tate into the car and we zoomed off to the grocery store, where Tate helped me shop.

Back at home, Tate had his first taste of baby food meet—Vegetable Beef.  And he gobbled it up.

After eating, Tate and his full tummy headed for a nap.  But it didn’t last very long because his very loud siblings woke him up when they got home from school.  We were able to snap this photo:

 

And then get a couple shots of him playing, too:

 

When the kids ate their snacks, Tate showed them how much he enjoys food-pirating, and he convinced Casey to share his cheese:

 

That didn’t stop Tate from gobbling up his dinner—chicken noodle casserole like the rest of the family and some baby food, too.  He didn’t love the baby food.  But he enjoyed my cooking!  After dinner, we sang happy birthday over chocolate chip muffins, and then the kids (literally) tore through birthday presents.

Finally it was time for Tate’s bath:

Then we played for a while (you can tell Jason dressed him if you look closely), until he spit up all over my pants (I left that in there for a dose of realism).  Like I said, he didn’t really like the baby food (no casserole in there, if you must know). 

And Tate was fast asleep within minutes.  What a busy day!

Happy Birthday and Welcome Home, Tate!

I can hardly believe Tate is one. I mean, it’s not like a full year with him has passed, of course. But still. One. Wow. Tate is such a survivor.

In honor of his birthday, we had a Baby Open House this past weekend. Of course I got sick right before. And of course I realized after the fact all the people we should have invited but didn’t. But Tate won’t know the difference. What he will know is that we made him his own story poster (to explain to our visitors how Tate came to be part of our family).

And he’ll know that lots of people came by to wish him a happy birthday and to welcome him home. He’ll be told how he experienced his first bouncy house

and that had his his very own, homemade birthday cake.

He’ll know that lots of kids gathered around to sing him happy birthday.

And of course we’ll tell him how we thought he’d really like his specially prepared chocolate pumpkin cake at first, but quickly discovered that he didn’t really like all the attention it was bringing him.

Most of all, though, Tate will know—at least from the pictures—how so many people loved him from the moment they set eyes on him—us included.

Welcome home, little guy . . . we love you!

Finally a Picture (albeit fuzzy)

He's already pulling himself up. He's a little wobbly, but considering he's only holding on to one of my hands, after pulling himself up all by himself, that's not too shabby. I'm so amazed at how quickly he's progressing-- two weeks ago, this wasn't something he could do. . .

High Fives, Waving and Handshakes

I remember now why I posted so frequently when the kidlets were young. Every day is something new!

Yesterday, for example, Tate ate about half his "garden vegetables." And then stopped. At first I couldn't figure out. Yeah, the color was gross. But that's par for the course with baby food. So I finally read the label more closely. Peas, spinach and carrots. We've already established he won't eat the former and will eat the latter. And apparently the added spinach couldn't sway him to swallow the food. Can't say I blame him, really.

Tate is continuing to delight us. He now readily high-fives people, shakes fingers. And today he even attempted to wave at someone!

Doctor Visit and First Sleepover

Tate saw our other pediatrician today. Diagnosis is urticaria. In other words the hives are likely a virus. Apparently there was a bout going around this summer that lasted 6 weeks. So we're in a holding pattern for another month.

He's in the 5th percentile for length and just under the 5th for weight. But he's eating up a storm and we've been given the go-ahead to let him eat and eat and eat. And to switch to cow's milk.

Our other big event of the day is that Marcie had an impromptu sleepover tonight:

There was some movie-watching (High School Musical 2, to be specific):

And some nail-polishing (a different color on each fingernail and toe nail):

And then, around 9:30 or so- almost 40 minutes after they asked to go to bed, and 20 minutes after I finished reading the third bedtime story, they fell asleep:

On Food and Dinner Conversations

Tate has an appetite. This, I think, is a good thing. And the food piracy has begun. For the past two mornings, he has crawled after me and Jason and essentially insisted we share our breakfast food with him. Yesterday it was yogurt. Today it was Life cereal. And spoons full of milk. He bounced up and down and let us know how pleased he was with his pirating successfully. Mind you, he gets plenty. In addition to the 7 ounces he eats right after he wakes up, he gets a fruit, a vegetable and oatmeal a couple hours later. Then another bottle about a half hour after that. But I'm happy he's eating.

Marcie's been having some food issues of her own. Two mornings ago it was gum-in-the-hair and quick wash in the sink before school to get the oil out. This morning it was yogurt. All over her long hair. Once again, she found herself standing on a chair next to the kitchen sink mere minutes before the morning ride arrived. I guess I should insist she pull back her hair before she eats. But it's never been a problem before.

One neat thing about being home with the kids and picking them up after school is that they talk to me. Seriously. I get to hear who they had a spat with, what they did in school. I get to know what they like and don't like. I get more of their good hours. And when I asked them, yesterday when they announced boredom because there was no video gaming and no TV, if they missed playing with other kids at ESS (after school care), their unequivocal answer was NO. This tells me we have made the right decision. I know it'll be a stretch, but it'll be good for them in the long run.

And that brings me to dinner. We had an early dinner last night and so Jason wasn't home yet. As I scooped food into Tate's mouth, Casey told me they'd learned about how mammals nurse at school. And I said people were humans and lots of babies nurse. But then I realized most of our family bottle-fed their kids and so I couldn't really give an example-- except for one family friend. Casey thought it was pretty gross.

Then Marcie asked if Tate was cut out of his birthmom's tummy or if he came from down there (she pointed with emphasis at her private parts with both hands). I told her the truth-- I didn't know. And she asked about her cousin Kai (cut out) and then Casey (from "down there"-- though I used the correct terminology). Marcie wanted to know if it hurt a lot. Yes, I told her. It did. But Angie was very brave.

And just as quickly as I found myself in the middle of the conversation it was over. Marcie announced she was going to have six kids and they would all have bunk beds. Casey told me he was going to have three kids-- but not one at a time like our family. He is going to "put three babies in his wife's tummy at the same time," like his friend Robbie. "It's going to be triplets!"

From all of this I take that the kids like having siblings, are happy to have Tate home with us, and are generally adjusting to outnumbering me and Jason quite well. I really couldn't ask for more.

Gum in the Hair

When Marcie woke up this morning with a chunk of bubblegum in her hair- just above her shoulder, I gulped awfully hard. I couldn't get it out of all the hair-- and enough was entangled that I was worried she'd be getting a major haircut today.

Luckily, ehow.com informed me that you can use oil to get the gum out.

And heck if it wasn't right! A couple handfuls of olive oil and 20 minutes later Marcie's hair was gum-free and her head was under the kitchen sink. We got it all washed mere moments before her morning ride to school rang the doorbell.

Thank goodness for the Internet!

Food, Glorious Food

So we have, at long last, introduced Tate to solid foods. He hadn't really been eating any when we met him, so we're sticking to stage 1 foods until his physical exam on the 15th. So far, he loves oatmeal (recommended to us in lieu of rice cereal), pears, apples, bananas and sweet potatoes. He is not a fan of peas. And by "not a fan," I mean that he flips his tongue out of his mouth the moment the peas hit and spews peas down the front of himself. Then sticks a hand in his mouth to clear out the full palate of peas. It's, well, messy. And he's not exactly a neat eater in the first place.

The good news is that all the solid food- on top of the formula- appears to be helping him sleep at night. I can't call it a pattern yet, but for the past three nights he went to sleep at 8pm and slept until at least 4:00 am (it might have been 4:45 am, actually- I was pretty tired when he woke me up). Yesterday and the day before he slept in until 6:30am, so I even had time to shower before he woke. That was nice. (As a side note- I love our Summer video baby monitor-- I love that when I hear him fuss, I can take a peak at what he's doing and determine from his body language if he'll put himself back to sleep.)

We've actually been taking walks, too. This is trickier. He tends to fall asleep in the last 5-10 minutes of the walk, no matter how long the walk is. I've been letting him cat nap for about 20-30 minutes, then waking him because I am being super, super conscientious about his schedule. Until I'm convinced he's over the jet lag and on a schedule, I don't want to mess with the schedule.

He's still smiley and bouncy. He can now pull himself to standing and give high-fives. The hives haven't subsided yet-- but otherwise he seems to be feeling pretty good.

Seriously Jet-Lagged and Other Assorted Tales

So if you missed it, you can read the play-by-play of our trip to China to adopt Tate at http://www.bsinchina.com/. But now that we're home and I can access blogger again, I'm back to blogging here. If I can figure out how to transport my wordpress posts from China into this blog, I'll do that (and if you know how, feel free to email me the directions!).

We've been back from China for about a week. And Tate's been a trooper and a charmer. We had a physical exam scheduled for yesterday, but ended up at the doctor on Monday because he had some pesky hives that would not disappear and I feared an allergy to his formula, his main source of nutrition. It turned out that:

1. he did, indeed, have a staph infection on his head (which has cleared up nicely)
2. we will treat him as allergic to keflex/ceclor (which we didn't finish the cycle of because of the hives) until he's older
3. he is probably not allergic to dairy or his formula
4. the hives are probably his body fighting a virus (as is the swollen gland at the base of his head)
5. he has two ear infections

Despite his hives and ear infections, he's been relatively smiley and playful.

Unfortunately that mostly happens in the middle of the night or when we are in public. And these days, I'm essentially living from nap to nap. I'm not kidding.

Last night Tate went down at 8:00 pm, then woke up at 1:00 am. I fed him again at 3:00 am because he seemed so hungry (he was), and he went back to sleep until around 5:00 am. This was definite improvement over the previous night, when he woke up at midnight, then went right back down, but was up again at 2:00 am until 4:30 am, and he was joined by Casey who woke up at 4:00 am. You get the point.

So we're working on the jet lag. He needs complete darkness to fall asleep, which leaves us one of the bathrooms or the laundry room. Because the big kids need the hall light on to fall asleep, we have to be creative about making Tate's room dark-- and he zooms right in on the infrared dots on the baby monitor camera. I finally turned it off until he fell asleep last night.

I know, I know-- you want to see pictures. Well then head on over to www.bsinchina.com.

Race

Race can be such a loaded topic. There is much debate in the China adoption world about the responsibilities of non-Chinese parents (predominantly White) who adopt children from China. Heck, there is much debate in the U.S. about transracial adoption, too. But the Chinese thing has been on my mind lately.

A few weeks ago, Marcie told me, "Mommy, I wish I had light skin like yours." It about made my heart stop. I think Marcie is about as beautiful as they come. I love her porcelain skin. I love her almond eyes. I love her long, dark hair. She is downright pretty. And I tell her so. All the time. (Among other things- I also tell her how smart I think she is, or how observant, or how funny.)

Of course I asked her why she wanted lighter skin. And she didn't really have a reason. Just thought it looked better is all.

After I asked her why, I asked her what color she thought her skin was (brown) and what color my skin is (light). I pointed out that I have brown "spots" (freckles) all over me, but that her skin is beautiful- and the same- all over. I told her that everybody has something about themselves that they wish was a little different. This is normal. But that I hoped she'd change her mind-- because I so very much love the color of her skin. I also told her I was glad she told me what was on her mind. (And I was glad to know that the impetus of her statement was not something mean someone said at school-- but I have to wonder, at least a little bit, how being at a not-particularly-racially-diverse school will affect her self-image as she gets older.)

I imagine this will not be our first conversation about the topic of skin color. It's such an obvious thing-- and yet lots of people really skirt the issue. I'm not going to do that. I am not going to ignore this difference between us. But I do hope she comes to view herself as I do-- just. plain. pretty.

What about you? How would you have handled it? (Or how have you handled it if the topic has come up in your home?)

Soccer Super Star

Today was Casey's first game of the season. It was supposed to be five on five, with 15 minute quarters on a smaller field, as the season ramps up. No referee-- and the game win (or loss) doesn't count in the standings. But there was a mix-up with the field(s), so it was 8 on 8 instead. Which was fine. This game was one of the reasons we opted to wait to travel until Monday-- Casey's had such great momentum lately.


And he didn't disappoint. He did a fantastic job-- his coaches play the kids all over the field. He had a couple great (and important) assists. (And, for the record-- which everyone tracks even though it doesn't "count"-- his team won 3-1.)


He woke up excited about the game- even wanted to put on the uniform at 6am for a 1pm game.


Here's our soccer super star:

Toothless Grin

Marcie’s dentist appointment was this morning—and Jason took her because I had a dentist appointment of my own.  They gave her some valium (apparently she is a “happy drunk”), and she did a good job following directions.

Jason dropped her at Grandma S’s house after the appointment—Marcie loves going there because she gets doted on.  But she called around 11:00 a.m., sobbing, and asked me to come get her.  So, of course, I did.  By the time I got to her, she’d received a dose of Motrin and was feeling much better.  We stopped at Jamba Juice on the way home, and then she crashed for most of the afternoon.  When she woke up, she was hungry and in much better spirits.

She remains on a soft food diet for the foreseeable future because her bottom teeth are improving and we want to save those.  She’s definitely got a lisp so far. 

Here she is on Monday, with our good friends, celebrating Labor day:

 

And here she is this evening (don’t mind the mess of baby clothes and toys in the background—I’ve just been purchasing things as I’ve remembered them).

Tonight, she placed each of her teeth in a snack-size ziplock bag and placed them under her pillow. She is under the impression that if she places them each in a separate bag, she will get three treats from the tooth fairy—one for each bag.  That’s a lot of books!  Think she’s right?

Comedy of Errors (Part Two)

I first wrote a post called Comedy of Errors when we were waiting to travel to meet Marcie. I'm experiencing a bit of deja vu.

Our goal this weekend was to get Tate's room more ready than it was. (It was a mess of leftover papers and junk that we'd collected in our office before moving our office to what used to be our dining room.) But with two very active kids, I fully recognize the need to get them out and about, too.

On Saturday we connected with three other families at the park-- that's when Marcie did some severe damage to her mouth. That night, leaving our friends' house, Marcie dropped her vanilla milkshake, and it splattered all down the back of me-- and the back of our black car.

On Sunday, I took the kids through the Costco car wash, then bought Marcie a soft serve ice cream. She managed to dump vanilla ice cream down the outside door of the black car, which had just been washed. And then she didn't say anything, so it dried that way.

Later in the afternoon, she was working on a book box for school, which involved some glitter. Instead of waiting for me (I was folding laundry) to help her shake off the excess glitter, she decided to shake it herself. She tried to do so over the trashcan, but instead, she got it all over the kitchen floor.

Then today, I'd cooked pasta so that Marcie could have macaroni salad at the pool party we were attending. Marcie was carrying the bowl of pasta out through the laundry room, when she tipped the container, the lid came loose, and she spilled about half the contents on the laundry room and garage floors (those concrete floors are hard to get sticky macaroni loose from).

Poor Marcie.

On top of that, after visiting her dentist today, we learned that she will be losing at least three teeth on Wednesday-- her front two teeth and one next to it (on top). We are keeping our fingers crossed that the bottom three teeth and a top canine can be saved. It turned out the fall was very damaging to Marcie's mouth-- she went from an overbite to an under bite (no exaggeration). And the trauma was as if someone took a baseball bat to her mouth. Poor kid. I think she's getting bored of all the soft foods. She's off the Motrin now, but she'll be back on it on Wednesday when they "wiggle her teeth out."

She's been very positive about it all-- she thinks it's just great that the tooth fairy will be visiting and exchanging gifts for three teeth.

All I can think about (besides the pain the poor girl will be in) is how much her smile is going to change in the next couple days. . . I know it would have happened eventually. But three teeth at once-- it's a lot. Glad I got some great smiley shots of her with Casey before the incident. I'll post some before and after photos later this week.

Faceplant

Yesterday we met up in the park with some neighbors/friends to play when it cooled off.


Marcie was sitting on top of the metal gate that surrounds the sandbox, her feet wrapped through the bars of the gate. I think she may have called out my name- though I don't' remember it- and the next thing I knew, she was falling face forward onto the concrete. Nothing broke her fall. Except her face, I guess.


Fortunately, we were with three other families, who herded the other kids away from the scene and handed me a cloth to use. Marcie's crying wasn't even loud enough to alert Jason to her distress, and one of the parents went to get him. The other families told us they'd watch Casey and off we drove (thank goodness we drove to the park instead of walked!). When Marcie fell, her front two teeth were shoved up into her gum line, and she cut her lip (and scratched up her chin). There was a lot of blood. And after a while, her teeth actually came back down, out of the gum line (and we discovered that one is cracked the length of the tooth, down the middle).


On the way, we called my sister-in-law, whose cousin in our kids' dentist-- and she gave us Dr. Hope Ann's personal phone number. And thankfully Hope Ann answered and was not irritated we called. And was very helpful. And even offered to see Marcie on Monday- even though it's Labor Day.


The bleeding eventually stopped, and her fat lip makes her very difficult to understand. But she was never threw up, didn't bite all the way through the lip (so won't need plastic surgery), and her chin injury is just some abrasions. She was feeling better enough a couple hours after it happened to join the other families in a dinner feast with a gaggle of kids (and I even had to keep telling her to stop running in her flip flops!) Of course, we won't have an official prognosis until we see the dentist, but I am nonetheless feeling pretty lucky that the damage was not worse- and that we were with people who were super helpful and understanding.

My Big Girl Goes to Kindergarten

Today was Marcie's first day of kindergarten.

She carefully picked out a new outfit, which I washed and set out for her to wear, with a new pair of shoes she also selected. Last night, I stayed up late organizing our classroom supply donations for each child, labeling their backpacks and lunchboxes, and pre-making as much of their lunches as I could.

This morning, Marcie decided she didn't want to wear her new clothes. Or shoes. And I thought we were going to be in big trouble. But then, she told me if I'd wear my exercise shoes (which totally clashed with my outfit), she'd agree to wear hers. So I did.

We walked to school and I helped Casey scout out his new line-up location.


When one of his teachers picked up the class, I wandered back over to the kindergarten playground, just as Marcie's teacher arrived. Her teacher gave me a huge hug and said hello to Marcie, calling her by name (it doesn't hurt that this was Marcie's teacher last year and that her two sons have been responsible, in part for Casey and Marcie's summer care).

We helped Marcie hang up her backpack, watched her sign her name and cut a line, and caught up with one of her summer friends at the I Spy poster to locate some items. Then Marcie and I sat and read while we waited for class to begin. Mrs. F read The Kissing Hand to the kids and then invited us to kiss our kids good-bye.

For a brief moment, I thought Marcie might cry-- and I knew if she did, I would, too. One little girl started crying, then a little boy -- and I thought for sure it was going to set of a chain reaction of little tears. But it did not. Thankfully.

When I returned 3 1/2 hours later to collect Marcie, she found me right away,

pointed me out to her teacher,

and gave Mrs. F a high-five good-bye.

She proudly told me that she'd learned to read. That she'd sung two songs. That I forgot to pack her a spoon in her lunch, but not to worry because she went ahead and just bought one ("and they didn't even charge [her]!").

I'm one proud mama.

Sweet Anticipation

Marcie's first day of kindergarten is just two days away.

We've been talking about it all summer. We moved her over to the school's summer program so that she could make some new friends before the year began-- and it took a while, but she did.

Today we got her class roster, and as luck would have it, neither of her two best summer friends will be in her class next year. I admit it. I'm disappointed. But Marcie took it in stride. At least over the phone. I'd called to check in and see how her day at the beach with her cousins was going, and my mom put her on the phone. My mom told me Marcie looked like a teenager, sitting on her towel chatting away on a cell phone.

I started out with the "bad news" first-- neither of her two besties are in her class next year. Then, I went on to tell her that two of her good friends from pre-K are in her class next year. There was a bit of a pause, and then she said, (insert stereotypical tween/teenager tone): "Okay, Mom. But who is my teacher?"

Oh. I gave her that piece of information. She said, "Cool," and then she handed the phone back to my mom.

Perhaps I'm the one with the anxiety after all . . .

Happy Familyversary

Four years ago today, Jason and I sat in a hotel conference room, listening to instructions on how to prepare a bottle "Chongqing" style for our new daughter-to-be.

The room was filled with 17 very anxious, new parents. And as the caretakers carried the babies and sat them down in conference room chairs, we all craned our necks and whispered to our partners and pointed to our children. As soon as they set Marcie down on a chair, she cried.

Then, one by one, we were called to the front of the room. As we were handed our daughter, we paused quickly for a couple of posed photos, then took our children back to our sections of the giant conference room and fed them.


This evening, we found ourselves out to dinner-- just the three of us-- while Casey is at a sleepover. Marcie loved being doted on. So, in that sense, not much has changed.

Happy Familyversary, Marcie!

Today:

Please Help by Writing to your Senators

This is a double-post-- it'll go up on Tate's blog, too. But this blog gets a bit more traffic. Hence the double-post.

We were initially told that if we received our Travel Approval in the next week or so, we could plan for September travel. October travel to China is tricky because of a National Holiday the first week (which shuts everything down) and because of the trade fair, which runs every weekend in October and triples the prices. Many adoption agencies won't schedule travel in October at all. And this year, the Asian Games are in Guangzhou in November-- so the prices are much higher then, as well. So we have been hoping for September travel.

Now we have learned that most of the September consulate appointments are full in September (already!). In the past, agencies have been able to schedule these appointments for about 3-4 weeks after receiving Travel Approval from China. Families swear an oath at these appointments so that their children can receive visas and become U.S. citizens upon entry into the U.S. (or, in cases where only one parent travels, upon completing of additional paperwork after entry into the U.S.). It is a required appointment/event. (They basically shuffle you into a waiting room, have everyone raise their right hand and swear an oath, then file you in several lines to a window where a consulate employee asks if your paperwork is accurate and if you promise to treat your child like your child is your child and you say yes.)

Now we are being told there could be an additional 2 week delay (which definitely pushes us to October) because there are not enough appointment slots available.

The fix is very simple. The consulate can add additional appointments. They could add a second swearing-in (so to speak) for a given day (or two) or just add more people to the ones already scheduled. To make this happen, though, we need to apply PRESSURE. And that's where you come in. PLEASE write to your state senators and congressional representatives. I've made it easy for you. Just cut and paste the text below into an email to your representative. (I've sent in a modified version of what is below.) Here is the link to figure out who your senators are (just choose your state). And here is the link to figure out who your congressional representatives are (enter your zip code).

Dear Senator _______:

I hope that you will be able to help with an issue of great concern to many U.S. families. The U.S. Consulate in Guangzhou, China issues travel visas for newly adopted children traveling home with their families. A number of families have had difficulty scheduling appointments in September, which has resulted in a delay of a couple weeks before they can travel to meet their children. Additionally, because there are few appointments available, families who anticipate receiving their approval to travel to China are now being told to anticipate even longer delays. This is particularly problematic because of the upcoming Chinese National holidays and a number of special events in Guangzhou throughout October and November, making travel more difficult.

Meanwhile, these children wait in orphanages for their families. Many of these children and their families have been waiting to find each other for years. To be further delayed due to restrictive scheduling is terribly disappointing- and unnecessary.

I would appreciate you taking any action you can to encourage the Consulate to open additional time slots in September and October to accommodate families preparing to be united.

Thank you for your consideration.

Yours truly,

(signature)

International Signs

I always thought the international sign for choking was just a natural gesture a choking person would use. 

Not so much.

Last night we went to Souplantation for dinner.  We were in a large group- the four of us, my younger brother’s family of 5, my parents, and my older brother with his three kids.  I’d just placed my tray on the table when my oldest nephew jumped up from his seat and snatched the bottle of water from my tray.

He looked up at me with watery eyes.  “Is it hot, Sal?” I asked.  “Spit it out—if it’s hot, spit it out.”  I thought maybe he’d bitten into a jalapeno or something.

Sal began to jump/stomp his feet, clearly agitated.  He looked up at me again, eyes still watery.  “Are you choking, Sal?” I asked, as I began to move around behind him.  My brother, his dad, was next to me, and he began to move into Heimlich maneuver position, too.  Just then, Sal was able to grasp- with the tips of his fingers- a slice of pickle that had lodged in his throat.

I wrapped my arm around him as the tears began to fall, and then stepped back so his dad could take over.  I could see people around us, whispering and pointing.  And other people who continued to eat, not noticing our drama.

I remembered back to when Casey was 11 months old and I had to perform the baby Heimlich maneuver on him because he got a pizza crust lodged in his throat.  My eyes began to water.

Bob told Sal:  “The good news is that you would not have suffered much longer- we’d just figured out you were choking, and we were going to help you.”  Then he took Sal outside to calm down – and to teach him the international sign for choking.  Hopefully Sal will never need to use it again.

Soccer Madness

Marcie practically begged us to sign her up for soccer. So we did. She was adamant that Jason coach. So he does. She insisted on being on a team with one of her friends. So she is.

So why, why, why did she beat me up when it was time to put on the soccer gear?

First, she insisted that she should not have to wear the yellow team shirt. Then, once we got it on her, she refused to put on shin guards and cleats. After 20 minutes of screaming and crying (her, not me), Jason and Casey left the house without her for the game. And I left her alone.

Sort of. She followed me around the house. And whenever she’d scream at me about how she was missing the game, I’d calmly tell her I knew, and that she could join her team as soon as she put on her soccer gear. After she threw a book at me, I banished her to her bedroom. Then things escalated. So I took away her books. Her music player. Her reading lamp.

I couldn’t keep her in her room, so I tried a baby gate. That took all of about 6 seconds for her to kick down.

Eventually she relented. She agreed to the shin guards and the cleats. She finally let me put her hair up in a pony tail.

We arrived about 5 minutes before the end of the first half and she went straight onto the field to play goalie. Her eyes were puffy and swollen from tears. Her throat was raw from screaming. My lower back was flaming pink from the back-slaps I endured.

I went to the viewing gallery to watch. I waved and smiled. I shouted encouraging things.

Just another day with an almost-five-year old, spicy girl.

Bangs!

All the sun and swimming meant Marcie needed a hair cut. On the way, Marcie says, "Mom, I think I want bangs."


What? Huh? Bangs? This wasn't something I'd discussed with Jason-- and the thing about hair is that once you cut it, you can't uncut it. . .


I really hesitated. But, not surprisingly, Marcie seemed pretty certain. . .


And she looks great!

Corner Turned

Today marked day 3 of no morning tantrums. (Day 5 if you count the weekend, but I don't because weekends are different.) I hope I don't jinx us by writing about it.

Don't get me wrong, Marcie still has puh-lenty of attitude. But she's not using it to throw herself down on the ground or to fling herself (or her words) at me. There just wasn't the usual defiance.

I have no idea what caused the shift. Maybe getting to decide how to arrange her bedroom gave her a sense of control that she's been wanting. Maybe now that she has "three best friends" at school, she's feeling more safe and comfortable going there now. Maybe it's that Jason takes them to school in the mornings instead of me these days.

Whatever it is, I'm glad.

Of course, there's only about a week left of the summer program, then school starts on the 25th. A whole new routine. But at least her "three best friends" will share playtime with her. And odds are that at least one of them will be in her class, as there are only two kindergarten classes this year.

We'll see. But for now, I'll take what I can get. . .

Vote for Kai

My youngest nephew, Kai, has been entered into a contest to become the next Gerber baby. Or at least to win a Flip camera or a college scholarship. Whatever the prize, he needs your vote. You can vote once a day every day for the next month by clicking this link and voting.

In case you’re wondering, he really is that cute. Here’s a photo to prove it:

Now go vote for the cute little guy!

Eleven Years

Happy Anniversary to us.

When I told Marcie we were going on a date, she asked what that was.

I explained that it's time grown ups spend together, alone.


"To get married?" she asked.

"Well, sometimes grown-ups date to figure out if they want to get married," I said.

"But why can't I come with you?" she inquired. "You're already married. I saw the pictures."



The kids spent the night at Grandma and Grandpa S.'s house. We slipped off to see Inception and then headed down to one of our favorite restaurants in Coronado- Peohe's. We were seated right on the water's edge, overloooking the downtown San Diego skyline, and we arrived just in time to see a spectacular fireworks display.


It was a perfect evening.

Talent Show

I've "complained" a few times about how difficult Marcie has been- mostly in the mornings. The other day, in between her fits of screaming, kicking and spitting at me while refusing to get dressed (even with help), she told me she wanted to go back to her preschool because she doesn't have any friends at the new school. I know this isn't so. But transition is rough. So I listened to her. I told her I understood. I explained that she's too big for preschool and that she will make new friends.


On Thursday evening, Marcie announced that she was in the summer talent show. She asked if Aunt Megan would come watch her perform the next day. Of course, Aunt Megan had already left town, so that wasn't possible. Jason couldn't get away for the 1:00 p.m. show either. So that left me. . .


I don't like leaving mid-day because, with the commute, it means missing around 2 or 2.5 hours in the middle of the workday, but it seemed important to her. And I was able to make it work.


I am so. glad. I. did.

The talent show wasn't very good.

But Marcie performed a dance. On. stage. In front of an audience of about 50-60. She didn't chew her nail, stand still, stomp, or even hesitate. She popped up on stage and did her thing.


She was so proud of herself.

And I was proud of her, too. Still am.

Smiley Tate

We received an update on Tate.

Here's his most recent picture:

You can read all about it over on Tate's Blog.

Break-in Update

We're mostly recovered from the break-in.
Jason's parents loaned us their wii.
My sister and brother in law loaned us their flat screen.

We recovered the Kindle (must have dropped it on their way out).
We'll replace the laptop this week.

And we'll replace the other stuff when the insurance stuff clears.

On to other concerns. . .

Robbed

I'm not sure what the proper legal term is-- but our home was robbed today.
Jason and the kids discovered the burglarization when they got home from work/school.

The thief or thieves took our flat screen, my digital camera, Jason's 3-day-old MacBook Pro and the wii (and the wii games). They also took some jewelry (namely a ring my grandmother left to me when she died), though they left most of my nice jewelry behind.

They ransacked the master bedroom-- is that where most people store their most important stuff? Other than the flat screen and Jason's kindle (also stolen), it doesn't look like they took much else from in there (and there wasn't much else to be taken-- though, notably, they did not take my Kindle).

It's hard not to feel violated.
The kids are pretty upset about the wii. But I think they are actually upset about not feeling totally safe like they used to. Jason's laying down with Marcie right now.

I am grateful they didn't find (or perhaps even look for) our passports. If they'd stolen our identities, that would be a nightmare. I'm even more grateful none of us was home. I'm sure this was by design- but I'm still grateful for that.

Home invasions in our neighborhood are very rare. And two neighbors across the street and one of our next door neighbors are home all day (and were today). So I have to wonder how much of it was luck and how much of it was that our home was cased. In the end, I suppose it doesn't matter.

It's not the loss of stuff that hurts (though, I'm not gonna lie-- it sucks and will take a while to replace). It's the feeling that I somehow failed the kids by "letting" this happen. I sure hope this becomes a long distant memory for them, a small blip on their otherwise carefree childhood.

Seattle

We spent the Fourth of July in Seattle. I attended college just south of Seattle in the early 90s and haven't been back in more than 7 years, but the real impetus was spending time with one of Jason's sisters- Jessica.

It was just like I remembered it-- cold and rainy-ish. But that didn't stop us from getting out and about:

On top of the Space Needle.

Inside Pacific Science Center (just before we entered the butterfly room).

On a Duck tour.


From this photo, you'd never know the weather wasn't beautiful-- the sun peeked out for just a few hours that afternoon. This was our view while we boated around Lake Union.

Our 4th of July barbecue was moved indoors for rain, but after dinner all the kids were outside, playing with sparklers and colorful smoke firecrackers (all totally legal), for about an hour until it started getting dark. Casey wasn't too keen on the sparklers, so this is the only one he held.

Marcie, on the other hand, couldn't get enough.

We had a really fantastic time-- and Jason's sister was such a wonderfully gracious host.

Big Changes

I have been remiss in my posting in large part because it's such a pain in the butt to download photos to include. I know, excuses, excuses.

Well, this post is all about Marcie. She's going through a rough patch right now. She has always been opinionated and sassy, but she's really been testing us in the past week and a half or so. Refusing to brush her teeth, comb her hair-- even get dressed. Throwing herself on the floor. Screaming at me. It's like having a teenager in the house. (I'm not-so-secretly hoping that us battling it out while she four and I'm thirty-something means I'll get a reprieve later on in life.)

But, in truth, Marcie is going through a lot of change right now.

Almost two weeks ago now, she graduated from preschool, where she's been hanging out with the same teachers and the same kids for almost 3 full years:

And the very next day (after a celebratory meal at Souplantation), Marcie started ESS, the local after-school care/summer camp program sponsored by our elementary school:


At ESS, Marcie is in a room with the other incoming kindergartners, and Casey is right next door. Each week has a theme, a trip to the movies and the community pool, a bring-your-bike-to-school day, and a field trip somewhere fun. The kids come home exhausted.

I know Marcie will adjust, but it's a big change for her. So we're trying very hard to be very patient. Even when she tells us she wants to go find a new family.

Here We Grow Again . . . Meet Tate!

Born October 26, 2009 in Henan Province and given the name Fu Long Jie by the caregivers at Jiaozuo City Welfare Institute, our son was transferred to Beijing at age 3 weeks, where he remains in a group foster home called Shepherd’s Field Children’s Village (Langfang Village in China) and run by the American-based organization the Philip Hayden Foundation. This means he is receiving extra attention and his caregivers have been trained to work with kids, like Tate, who were born with a special need.

Tate’s special need is a cleft lip and cleft palate.

We think he’s just beautiful, and we can’t wait to meet the little guy in person.

We'll still be posting about our day to day life here (stay tuned for photos of Marcie's preschool graduation!), but because blogger is blocked in China, we've started a separate block to document our journey to China for Tate: www.bsinchina.com