The Best Diaper Rash Cream EVER

So the past 9 days have been a little traumatic for poor little Marcie. Maybe it was only 8. It doesn't really matter. One day is one day too many.

You see, last Monday, Marcie came down with a bad case of diarrhea. This is so different from the little girl we met a mere eight months ago. Back when we had such worry over her constipation. Anyway, I will spare you the details (for once). But I will share that it was acidic and painful. Every time she pooped, she cried. We knew exactly when to change her diaper because she'd cry and ask us to hold her.

Around 6 days into it, I called the pediatrician's office. The triage nurse explained that they would see Marcie, but there wasn't much they could do-- most stomach bugs like this one run a 7-10 day course, and we should call back in that window of time.

That was Saturday. Over the course of the next 48 hours, things got progressively worse. She went from 8 diapers a day to more than 15 during day time hours (and another two at night). Her smooth, pale bottom grew splotchy. Then angry. And it was painful for us to even pat it down with the softest, gentlest Charmin (because the liquid on the wipes irritates the skin).

And we used Vaseline. Lots and lots of Vaseline. Which I've come to recognize as something of a miracle worker. I used to tease my husband that he and his mom reminded me of the father in My Big Fat Greek Wedding. Remember how he used Windex to cure any problem? Zit? Use Windex. Rash? Use Windex. Well, Jason and his mom are kind of like that with Vaseline. Dry skin? Use Vaseline. Dry lips? Use Vaseline. Scrape on the leg? Use Vaseline. It turns out that Vaseline really does protect the skin-- anywhere on the body. And it creates an amazing barrier to acidic poop. So we used lots and lots and lots of it on Marcie.

Monday Jason took Marcie to the doctor. Since then, we've been collecting stool samples into these smallish vials that have formaldehyde in them. I say we, but I haven't actually had to do any of the collecting. We'll drop them off tomorrow and have the lab run a culture just to make sure there's not some out-of-control bacteria floating around in there, since Marcie was on antibiotics a couple week's ago. And the doctor showed Jason the best diaper rash cream EVER.

Want the recipe? Here goes:

Dry a stripe of lotrimine on the palm of your hand.
Next to it, draw a stripe half that size of hydrocortizone.
Drop on a splash of milk of magnesia.
Rub them all together in the palm of your hand.
Spread on child's privates.

We've been using it for less than 48 hours.
The bumps are gone.
The angry red is gone.
The irritation is gone.

We'll keep using it for a few more days because there may be some yeast growing that we can't see with the human eye.

But WOW. What results. Someone should create that mixture into a paste and sell it. And send me some royalties if they do since it was my idea to market it. Hey, maybe I should patent the mixture? Nah. No time. But use it. It really is amazing.

Oh. And it doesn't hurt that Marcie's feeling much better-- stomach bug is definitely clearing through her system. . .

One other note on this topic--
We've been very fortunate to have Marcie stay with her grandmother while we are away at work. This means she gets one on one attention all day long. A personal playmate. Who cooks for her. And sings to her. And speaks to her just in Cantonese. A person who holds her when she's sick. And loses sleep worrying about her at night. And who collects stool samples during the day.

In the fall, Marcie starts preschool full time. When she gets sick, Jason or I will have to take time off to take care of her. Of course we don't mind doing this. But I was thinking how this stomach bug lasted 6 work days. And yesterday and today, although better, I couldn't send her to school like this. So that means 8 work days. And since she wasn't 100% today, I couldn't send her tomorrow, either. Which makes 9 work days. You get the point. Nine days is a lot of days to miss work. Especially for Jason, whose company doesn't appear to have a sick-leave policy. What do people do when their kids are sick? We sure have been lucky to have the help of family . . .