Fish Oil and the Active Child

I mentioned off-handedly in an earlier post about the wildfire evacuation that I remembered to bring Casey's fish oil with us. The post prompted a few e-mails and comments asking for more information. If you don't want information on fish oil and/or the active child, feel free to skip this post.

As a disclaimer, I have to admit that I haven't personally done a whole lot of research into this topic. I personally am not a super-nutritious person. That's not to say I would let my kids eat chocolate or cake for breakfast. Or even for dinner. Or even for nightly dessert. But it's just not my thing. And, thankfully, it doesn't have to be. That's one of the nice things about parenting with a partner. Because Jason is really into nutrition. Which is how we came to use fish oil. Casey has always been a pretty active child. Well, at least since around age 2, when the terrible twos hit us pretty hard.

By the time Casey turned 3, we realized he was more active than other 3-year-old boys we saw. And that got us to thinking about Casey's diet. He's too young to be diagnosed with hyperactivity or anything, but darned if he couldn't sit still for even 10 or 15 minutes. So we decided to try the fish oil.

Here are two articles that discuss the studies that have been completed on Omega-3 (which you can get in places other than fish oil) and in fish oil in particular:

Fish Oil improves attention and vocabulary
Fish Oil may be better than Ritalin

Now, in the interest of full disclosure, I have to tell you a couple more things. Casey is an extraordinarily picky, picky eater. Until recently, his diet has consisted pretty much of cheese pizza, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and dino-bite chicken nuggets. And I'm not exaggerating. It's not a whole lot better now, but it's definitely better. This isn't really related to the fish oil except to say it made him agreeing to take a teaspoon of fish oil a day all that more surprising.

We don't use capsules, the way they did in the studies. My dad uses the capsules (which have had a dramatic and positive effect on his cholesterol, by the way). And I have heard of others who do as well-- though I've also heard those same people complain of re-tasting the fishy taste throughout the day. And I don't think that's a problem with the oil.

The oil we use is lemon-flavored. We give Casey a little less than a teaspoon at night before bed. We toyed with giving it to him in the morning but found he was more focused if we did it at night. We also toyed with a higher dosage, but found that it was better for his digestive tract to stick to a little less than a teaspoon a day. We buy it and have it shipped to the door, and we keep it refrigerated. One bottle lasts us several months. When I'm feeling less lazy, I'll note the brand and put it in this post.

Casey, like most preschoolers, is a child who likes routine. And he reminds us to give him fish oil if he forgets. I think he actually likes it, though I can't figure out why for the life of me.

But there you have it. And it really has made a difference.

Keeping Busy During the Wildfires

This coming weekend has another Santa Ana blowing through. We're hopeful it won't impact the existing fire that hasn't been contained (Poomacha) and that it won't cause any new conflagrations. When I downloaded Halloween pictures, I found some photos of last week when we were evacuated. Not of the fires. Of the kids. So here's how they spent their time:

at library story time

just hanging out in the house-- I love the boys' expressions in this one

climbing on new equipment at JW Tumbles (where they let us play for free!)

Casey and his friend Lucas swinging at JW Tumbles

Wildfires Follow-up: Correction on Plane Groundings

In an earlier post, I whined about military red tape being to blame for the delay in getting air craft up in the air during the wild fires. I hadn't heard the story firsthand because I was trying to keep the kids away from the media blitz. But Rowena wrote to me that I had it wrong-- and darned if I didn't. So thanks to Rowena for letting me know that my reference to the "stupid military" wasn't accurate.

[As a side note, I never considered when I posted that comment that I might come across as anti-military. I'm definitely not anti-military. I don't know how anyone growing up in San Diego could be. I appreciate all our military does, and I'm awed by how their families hold down the fort while they are away, often on very long deployments. I remember how hard it was for me during Desert Storm when my dad was away and we didn't know for how long, but he was an Air Force pilot, so his time away was nothing compared to what Navy families experience on a pretty regular basis-- and nothing compared to what families are going through nowadays.]

Anyway, the way I'd heard the story was that the planes couldn't fly in California because of military red tape that was not allowing the planes in the air. I had heard that Brian Bilbray negotiated a deal to get the equipment (or people?) here from Colorado. But this was erroneous. The way it works is that air crafts need "spotters" to fly with them, and there weren't enough spotters. And this is a state rule, not a federal one-- which means that it definitely was not military red tape. What Brian Bilbray did was broker a deal to waive some of the "spotter" requirements so that the aircraft could get off the ground. Though it does appear that some military planes (C-130s) were not properly equipped as they should have been, and there is apparently a plan to rectify that.

There are much better explanations than the one I gave on CNN, MSNBC, and USA Today, if you're interested.

Mostly, I wanted to thank Rowena for letting me know I had it all wrong-- I'd e-mail you if I had an address, to thank you more personally. I love that someone out there is actually reading this blog closely enough to call me out on something when I deserve it! So thanks, Rowena.

And if anyone has an opinion about why the spotters are necessary and should never be waived, I'm open to hearing about it. And yes, I do realize that it's entirely possible that even if we had all the spotters we needed and the C-130s were appropriately equipped, the winds might have prohibited the planes from flying!

Fish Oil and the Fires

When we evacuated during the fires, I had my wits enough about me to grab Casey's giant jar of (liquid) lemon-flavored fish oil. I packed it in some gel ice and a cooler bag and we put it in the fridge at our friends' house. Each night, we gave him fish oil before bed. This is part of his daily routine, and he asks for "fish owawa" if we forget. For a child who is picky about his brand of peanut butter and who refuses to eat pretty much everything, I'm still not sure why he enjoys the fish oil so much, but he does.

Why give him fish oil? Well, Casey has some difficulty with attention and behavior. Much of this is the result of him be a late-bloomer when it comes to communicating. His speech has improved dramatically with time, and I'm sure he's less frustrated now, better able to sit still and focus. But I also know it's the fish oil. Within a week of starting him on fish oil, every single adult who interacts with him asked us what we changed-- he seemed so much more calm and focused. And fish oil aids the memory, too.

Anyway, when we left our friends' home, I did remember to take the fish oil with us. But we were still evacuated, so we didn't go home right away. Instead, we left the kids with Jason's parents for part of the day, and that's also where we left the fish oil. That was Wednesday. And Casey hasn't had fish oil since.

I did go by and pick up the jar of it this evening. But it's already obvious he's missing it. He got in a heated discussion with his best friend at school today (also called a fight, though they did make up). He threw a tantrum when his teacher told him he couldn't eat the special orange-flavored MnMs I brought home with me from New York for lunch, that he had to eat his sandwich first. At dinner, he talked so much-- about nothing and everything-- that neither Jason nor I could get a word in edgewise, then he shoved two fish sticks and part of a banana in his mouth all at once. At book time, he couldn't sit still to finish a single book. He kept interrupting me with questions. He did take his fish oil tonight, but he didn't go to bed until after he asked me to race him to his room twice, then kiss him good night three times.

And now, he's laying in bed awake. I can hear him. I won't go check on him yet, because he's trying to put himself to sleep. I think. He may just be playing with Lightning McQueen. I'm not sure. But his mind is clearly racing, making it hard to calm himself to sleep.

If I weren't a believer in fish oil before the fires, I sure am now. That stuff is miraculous.

Old Lady

This weekend I'm away from my family, in New York City for a first-year associates' training. All the first year associates firmwide are here in Times Square. There are somewhere between 80 and 100 of us. And, well, I'm feeling pretty darn old.

Last night we arrived just in time for the cocktail hour. The food was yummy and the wine was nice. But, well, I pretty much suck at small talk. I suppose not always. I mean, I'm a talker. But I had trouble finding common ground. I'd met a couple really nice, friendly people early on. Then I felt my phone ring, and I saw it was a message from the school district. So I disappeared into the coat closet to listen to the message (over 300 students and 20 staff members lost their homes in the wild fires last week). I scared the heck out of an associate in the San Francisco office who had stepped into the coat closet to hang up her coat. But we got to talking. And she was super cool, so that was nice. I met some other nice San Francisco folks, a couple interesting people from Silicon Valley. And (finally) it was time for dinner.

I was put in a group of 8 to go to Bobby Flay's (is that how you spell his name?) restaurant Bar Americain, where I indulged in some rib eye, some asparagus, and a diet coke. Everyone seemed really . . . well, young. They chatted on and on about the cooking channel (yes, I realize Top Chef has nothing to do with age). Then the subject turned to Saved by the Bell and I knew I was in trouble. I couldn't even remember screeches name. And my childhood shows-- 90210 and Melrose Place-- were apparently popular while the other 7 people in my group were in middle school.

No one else was married or had kids. Everyone else, except my friend from the San Diego office, had essentially gone straight through from undergrad to law school, and most of them were graduates of big-name schools-- Stanford, Yale, Boalt, and Harvard.

At one point I asked a San Francisco associate who had mentioned a couple times that her brothers live in San Francisco if she lived with either of her brothers. I figured this was an innocent enough question. After all, I lived with my older brother when he was a first year associate. And even after I moved out, my younger brother moved in-- and lived with Bob through Bob's marriage and the birth of Bob's first child. Bob was in his early 30s when Bryan got married and moved out.

Anyway, she scrunched up her face and said, "Ew. No. I mean, I couldn't live with my brother. He's old. He's 32."

I laughed heartily and said I didn't think 32 was old-- I'm 33 and will be 34 next month. And besides, I explained, my brother had one of us living with him well into his thirties. Heck, depending on how you look at it, my sister still lives with him (albeit in a separate apartment in his building, but she hangs out in the main house a lot). And then we promptly changed the subject.

But I couldn't shake feeling old. All day long. I called home throughout the day to see how the kids were doing (Marcie was hanging out with Aunt Megan and Casey had a blast at Kaitlyn's birthday party, but baseball and music class were canceled because of the fires). And I missed them terribly. All day long.

Of course I'm not the oldest person here. And I'm not the only first year associate who has kids. And I'm over-reacting and feeling academically insecure. But still. . .

Tonight's event went better. Well, after getting lost finding our way to the dinner location. We went the wrong way down 40th. Then later discovered the place wasn't on West 40th, but West 39th. We found it eventually, grabbed the sparkling wine, then jumped into place chopping herbs, mushrooms, garlic, and onion for the portion of dinner we were making. Next we moved to wine-tasting. Followed by a delicious meal with another 3 wines. Then a tiramisu dessert with a dessert wine. Conversation flowed more easily tonight. I sat next to a New York associate whose wife is from China and has a 5 year old and a one year old. Also at the table was a small group of associates from the D.C. office. Their office sounds pretty entertaining.

After dinner, we walked around a bit, and then my friend Jennie and I bumped into one of those D.C. associates in the lobby of our swank hotel. They were getting ready to head out (and we're off to bed), but Jennie had a little more than half a giant bottle of Saki left from dinner last night, so she gave it to them. They were shocked. And thrilled. And they invited us to go to the village with them (I had to ask if that meant Greenwich Village-- it does). We declined. I told them we're too old and couldn't handle anymore liquor tonight. We all laughed. Then we headed up to our rooms and they headed out.

I'm feeling much better about the people. Still old, though. And still missing my family.

Getting Back to Normal

The fires are still raging. They are now burning primarily east, and the winds have died down. There are still homes and other structures at risk along Palomar Mountain and Lake Arrowhead and in east county. But most residents -- those in neighborhoods where the homes are still standing-- have been permitted to return. Despite warnings that the air is very unhealthy and requests that people stay indoors, I did see a few (crazy) people outside running this morning. A thick layer of muck covers much of the county's sky, and tonight's moon is glowing eerily.

Our kids are fast asleep in their own beds. Their campfire-smelling sheets have been washed. We began the process of washing all our clothes and towels this morning. The kids spent the day with their grandmother, two of their aunts, and their soon-to-be uncle.

As it turns out, their preschool re-opened today. Which I would have known if I'd bothered to call them. I'm so accustomed to using the Internet as a primary source of information that I didn't even think to call. Tomorrow they'll be back in school. Marcie's Halloween Parade and Potluck, originally scheduled for tomorrow, has been rescheduled for Halloween. And I think most people are still planning to let their kids go trick-or-treating on Halloween, even though the fires (and thus the smoke) won't be contained until just before Halloween and controlled until around November 4th. (Contained describes fire-break perimeters, and controlled means the fire has been put out.)

Our community is accepting donations and volunteers. You can find more information at poway.org. Of course the Salvation Army and the Red Cross (designate option 2- San Diego/Imperial Counties Local Disaster Fund) are also taking donations.

I read that some of the Rancho Bernardo residents were comforted by President Bush's visit today. At least they said they were when the President asked them point blank. Like what else are you going to say? You're in an assistance center because you've just lost your home, all your belongings, and you escaped a devastating fire at the last minute, with just the clothes on your back. What are you supposed to say? No, Mr. President. I don't feel comforted by your arrival or your kind words. If your stupid military had less red tape, the federal planes that we so desperately needed would have been here sooner. But I understand that you don't really have time to worry about such things as your own citizens-- seeing as how you're so busy worrying about the Iraqis. I know, I know. I try not to get too political on my blog. And it certainly was a nice gesture. I'd probably be pissed if the President didn't even bother to tour the devastation and talk to people affected by the wildfires. But still, if you have to ask if people are comforted, I'm thinking that's a bad sign.

Ok. That wasn't the point of this post. The point was to let you all know that we're returning to life as usual-- or at least trying. The kids go back to school tomorrow. Casey will attend one of his best friend's birthday parties on Saturday. And in less than a week, we'll be eating chili with Jason's parents and trekking our little witch/wizard and our little butterfly all over our neighborhood for yummy Halloween loot, which we'll promptly confiscate after they're in bed, dolling out bits and pieces for about 5 days before telling them it's all gone because they ate it all.

Marcie has been putting on Casey's witch hat, saying, "I'm a witch," and then attempting to cackle. It cracks me up every time she does it. She wanted to be a banana for Halloween, but the banana costume didn't come in toddler size, so Casey helped us put together a butterfly costume for her instead. Gosh, I sure do love being a mom--the kids really ground me. . .

Wildfire Update: Released to Go Home

We learned around 11:00 am this morning that we've been released to return home-- our entire city has. The winds appear to have died down significantly enough that they believe the embers from the homes that have burned won't blow toward our home. All told, somewhere in the neighborhood of 100 homes were lost in our small city. Those are losses that have been confirmed.

Casey had trouble sleeping last night. He kept waking up, telling me he was scared. And this morning when we told him we were going back home, he said he wanted to stay at Lucas's because of the big fire. But when we got back toward our home and told him we might be able to sleep at home tonight, he seemed relieved and happy.

I am so impressed with the way the county's residents handled the evacuations-- at least so far. Estimates put around 500,000 residents evacuated, and yet our shelters housed only around 10% of that, and maybe less. That means that over 400,000 people stayed with friends or family or in hotels (which were sold out). That means a lot of people opened their homes to displaced residents, and I personally am impressed by that. They have actually had to turn away donations at many of the evacuation centers because of the outpouring of community giving. The evacuation center near our home put out a request yesterday around 2pm for certain items. By 6pm they were requesting no more donations because they were fully stocked. I personally know at least one evacuee staying with family who brought stuff to the evacuation center after checking on his home yesterday. I think that's cool.

It will feel good to go home tonight. To clean out the ash and the soot. To sleep in my own bed. But I'm still pretty emotional about it all. And, again, it wasn't the thought of losing the house that was upsetting; it was the physical displacement of my kids.

The friends we stayed with were very gracious and generous. Their child-proofed home was an oasis for the kids, who had a blast on their extended play date. We entertained them with a trip to the Pt. Loma library (which has a boat in it) and an afternoon at J.W. Tumbles, which opened (for free!). When I get a bit more settled and swipe the photos from our friends, I'll post a few on the blog.

The schools are closed through the end of the week, but businesses began opening up again today. And my family had a trip planned to San Diego, which they plan to follow through on, which will help with child care. I'm still planning to head off to New York for work this weekend. I'm hopeful that as these things all happen, a sense of normalcy will return to our lives.

Still Evacuated

Along with about 10% of the county of San Diego, we're still evacuated. I can't tell from the news reports if the fire has spread closer to our home, but it appears the fire is burning west toward the coast. Of course, the winds are unpredictable, and we haven't been released for return-- but it looks like, at least for the time-being, our home will be okay. A friend did some recon, and he said things looked quiet last night. But this morning I read they had arrested some looters in Ramona, which doesn't surprise me in the least, though does sadden me.

What's more important, though, is that we're okay, we're all together, and our kids are enjoying themselves on the longest playdate ever. I admit it. I'm pretty freaked out. Much more than I was the last time-- and I could see flames from my house then. But, again, there weren't winds and they were able to sort of contain it. The Witch Fire, which is burning houses in our community, isn't at all contained yet, and it's been burning for a couple days now. Somehow, too, it feels like there's so much more to lose. I'm not talking about our stuff, because that's just stuff. But keeping our kids safe and comfortable-- and more importantly feeling safe and comfortable is hard when we're not feeling that way. But I suppose that's part of what parenting is about. Helping our kids live through disaster without really feeling affected by it. Maybe that's a crazy thought. But they're young.

The city of San Diego is pretty much shut down today, and we know our local schools are closed at least through tomorrow. So we're all home from work/ school (well, not home, but you know what I mean). These sure are interesting times . . .

San Diego Wildfire Update-- Evacuated

So much for us being safe and sound at home.

We were evacuated this morning.

We're fine. We don't believe our house is likely to find itself in any of the fires' paths, but the air quality is poor, and there are fires burning, literally, on pretty much all sides of our community.

We have taken up residence in our friends' house. Our kids our playing.

Sigh. I'll keep you posted.

Marcie's First Brush Fire

Yeah, what a nice first, eh? In other parts of the country, people have first hurricanes, tornadoes, floods, thunderstorms. Here in Southern California we have brush fires and earthquakes. I'm not a big fan of either, of course. But I'm not much for tornadoes and hurricanes either.

Casey's first brush fire was in October 2003. It was huge. It burned for days. It took out entire neighborhoods and shut the city down. Casey was 9 months old. I was in my first semester of law school. No one left their homes without masks on, and even that was rare.

We voluntarily evacuated to Jason's parents house when the fire started blowing in our direction. No one told us to, we just did. I remember being amused by the items we loaded up on our car: laptops, photo albums, TIVO. We returned home that night, but the brightness of the fire shone out on neighborhood streets. And there was soot everywhere. I never felt afraid, just irritated by Nature's rage and interruption into my otherwise pretty serene world.

You can catch some photos of the devastation, along with the basic story here. Here's some more information about the conflagrations.

I'm sure Casey doesn't remember it, despite his amazing memory. But it's in his baby book.

And today, there was a brush fire near Jason's parent's house. There are several news stories on it, but this one pretty much explains what happened. Stupid arsonist. I was at school studying all day (shocking, I know-- and I'm still here at school now!), and the street leading to where Marcie and her grandma are was closed off by police all afternoon. It's been opened, and Marcie's grandpa told me she and Grandma are just fine. I got the impression they voluntarily evacuated, but I didn't even ask! Silly me. . .

What an eventful day for Marcie. As if she even knew it was going on . . .