Dichotomy

I'd like to think I present professionally at work. I'd like to think people take me seriously. I'd like to think the work I do is important and helps resolve big conflicts, making the world a tiny bit more peaceful. I'd like to think of myself as a power player, a go-to girl, a one-to-watch, an inspiration, and a force to be reckoned with. In my mind's eye, I'm all these things. Even in my five foot body, in my mind's eye, I see eye-to-eye with the big boys.

But I know it's just in my head. Because the other day, I saw myself for who I really am. There I was, dressed nicely in work clothes, sitting forward on the edge of the couch. My black back, filled with a redwell of papers and a legal pad of notes, lay on the floor next to the couch. The Blackberry peeking out the top of the bag was flashing red, and I was contemplating checking the e-mail messages. All the while, Marcie was perched on my lap, pulling on my nose with one hand and one of my ears with her other hand, giggling. Casey was standing on the couch behind where I sat, pulling up on hair on both sides of my head and waving it up and down like it was feathers instead of hair, laughing uncontrollably. Just at that moment, Jason walked past me toward the kitchen and paused just ever so briefly to glance back at the scene. I looked up at him, half-dazed, half-amused.

That about sums me up. Professional attorney by day. Professional toddler and preschool toy by night.

And for once, I am exactly where I want to be in life. But honestly, it's not because of the job. It's because of the kids. And even though right now is supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year, I get to experience the love and joy and hope and promise of the Christmas season all year long. That's the best part of being a mom.