Becoming an American Citizen

Those of us born and raised in the United States rarely think about what it means to be an American citizen. Perhaps we contemplated it for a school assignment some time during our lives, but it's not something we think about from day to day. We are the lucky ones, and we don't even know it!

On Saturday I took Marcie with me to the nail salon. The woman helping me was new and so she asked all sorts of questions about Marcie. Here is how our exchange went:

Her: Wow. She is a big girl. Very healthy.
Me: Yes. We are very lucky. She is big. Good eater.
Her: Very lucky-- good eater. That's good. Is your husband a big man?
Me.: Kind of, but not too big. But he's actually not her biological father. She is adopted.
Her: Oh?!? Where from?
Me: China
Her: Oh, was that hard?
Me: Well, there was a lot of paperwork, but it actually went pretty smoothly.
Her: So does she get to become a citizen of the United States?
Me: Actually, she already is. When we passed through customs on September 1st and they stamped her visa, she became an American citizen automatically.
Her: Oh, she is VERY lucky. That is good!

Now, two things strike me about this conversation. First, this is the second or third (or maybe even fourth) time that someone has essentially asked me if Jason is Chinese. Once or twice I've gotten the comment, "She must look like her father." And I've said, "Actually, she does." I think this is a good thing. It means I live in a part of the world where no one bats an eye because a child does not look like her mother. And no one assumes I'm the babysitter because I don't look like my daughter (except the old Asian lady at the park, but I'm not counting her). I like that people don't make assumptions. I think this is a good thing.

Second, I never realized before the value of being an American citizen. It's pretty coveted. And for good reason. There are lots of perks and benefits to being American. Don't get me wrong, I'm fully aware of all the problems in the U.S.-- healthcare and poverty among them. But overall it's not a bad country in which to live. And of which to be a citizen.

Anyway, all this to let you know that Marcie's Certificate of Citizenship arrived in the mail today. I was tempted to scan it and post a photo, but I can't because, as the certificate points out: "It is punishable by U.S. law to copy, print or photograph this certificate, without lawful authority." So you'll just have to take my word that it's cool-looking. This means we can apply for Marcie's social security card and her passport-- and even get the ball rolling on her U.S. adoption, so we can get her an American birth certificate.

Aw . . . NUTS

So fall is probably my favorite time of year. I love the colors of the changing trees, and I think pumpkins make the perfect backdrop for photos. I don't mind the weather cooling down when it's sunny-- and a gray day here or there is fine, as long as it doesn't become habit. Autumn would not be "complete" without our family's annual trip to Bates Nut Farm in Valley Center. Their motto is: Where nuts from all over the world come together!

We like to get to the pumpkin patch early in the day so we can get in and get out before too many crowds. This has worked well for us. This year, we started with the petting zoo-- and ended with it, too. We had planned to let Casey go on a pony ride, but the lines were so long, we changed our minds. He didn't seem to care-- he really liked getting down on the ground to spy the pig under his hiding place, and they let him hold a rabbit in his arms-- twice! This year the petting zoo also featured some baby goats, which were trying to "play" by butting heads. It was rather entertaining to watch.

After the petting zoo, Casey led us over to the pumpkins so he could pick one out. We actually didn't end up taking one with us-- not because the selection was poor, but because we were just too darn lazy to carry the pumpkin around with us for the day. We'd planned to go back and get one, but never did. Anyway, one thing we discovered during our foray into the pumpkin zone was that getting a photo with everyone looking at the camera at the same time gets exponentially harder when you have more kids. We never successfully snapped one! That's okay, I guess. . .

Next we hopped on a horse-drawn wagon ride for a tour of the scarecrows and the really big pumpkins (the ones you pay by the pound for), and then we headed over to the hay ride, with "trucks" pulled by a tractor. Casey recognized them as "trucks" from the Thomas story. We disembarked the hay ride to giant bales of hay with tunnels, and Casey had a grand time crawling around. He even lost his shoe in one of the tunnels, but someone recovered it for us.

Before departing, we decided it was time for a snack-- yummy sweet corn! Jason had the salsa one with cilantro and lime, and I had the special corn-- with cream, margarine and parmesian cheese. I only wish I'd had a plaquer with me. I usually cut my corn off the cobb-- but it was delicious nonetheless. Then Casey did something he's never done before. He asked to eat . . . popcorn! They only had kettle corn, but he actually ate it! His bites were measured-- only one piece at a time, and I think it'd be safe to say I ate more of his kettle corn than he did, but still, I was so impressed! Casey never tries anything new, so this was a very big deal!

We let Casey go back into the petting corral before we left again, and then noted how many people had arrived in the two hours we were there. As we drove off, the long line of cars waiting to turn into the pumpkin patch even convinced Jason it was worth getting up early to go! The only thing we didn't do that Casey expressed an interest in was the bouncy house, but he did that yesterday at the Fire Station Open House, so we didn't feel too badly about it.

Every fall our local fire department holds an open house at one of the stations for the public to come get a tour. They have a bouncy house and fire truck rides. They have safety information and demonstrations, puppet shows, booths, and the like. I always go-- I think of it as my tax dollars at work. Plus, I think it's good for Casey to learn about fire safety. Yesterday we met up with our friends the Goulds, and we toured the station with them, rode a fire truck, and let the boys jump in the bouncy. We were only there for about an hour-- just long enough for a dry spell to pass through the area (it was rainy yesterday). While we were in line at the bouncy house, a woman named Deborah approached me and asked how long we'd been back from China (she saw Marcie in the backpack on my back). You see, she had just returned from Chongqing of all places with her second child in May! How cool is that?

By the way, I didn't mention much about Marcie in this post, but she is just as cute as can be-- and very patient in the backpack. Here is my favorite photo from this weekend:

New Family Photo

I'll be changing our family photo to the right, seeing as how it's not really our family. That was one thing that was very strange to me in China-- they kept having us take "family pictures," and I kept muttering, "But this isn't my family!" Anyway, now we have a real family photo. Note that neither Casey nor Marcie is paying attention. That's pretty much par for the course, isn't it? I don't have an excuse for Casey-- but in Marcie's defense, she was looking at me because I told her to look at the camera. I still like it-- it's definitely us!

Tide Pools

My sister Megan was in town this week for a vacation. One of her good friends from college-- Sarah-- joined her. They did the "mellow San Diego" tour. On Friday, Casey had the day off from preschool. So we packed the kids in the sedan and we headed off to the tide pools in Pt. Loma-- the ones by Cabrillo National Monument. We hadn't been there since June 2005, and I was aiming to arrive at low tide, but I didn't exactly hit the mark! Instead, we go there around noon and saw what we could. This included a dead fish-- torn into its various parts of head (complete with teeth still in tact, though without any meat), a lobster whose head and tail had been separated, a crab, and a muscle. Megan, being environmentally conscious as she is, wanted to return the muscle to the exact spot where she'd located him. And just as she accomplished this mission, a huge wave rolled up and crashed over most of her and some of Sarah. Megan borrowed a cardigan from Sarah to wear as a skirt, and that's what she rode home in. I didn't snap a photo of her modified attire, but I did get some photos at the tide pools:

This is Megan and Sarah at the tide pools before they got blasted with the delicious salt water. Megan is on the right.

This is Megan showing Casey the crab she spotted in one of the tide pools.

This is Megan and Sarah retreating from the cold salt water after struck by the wave in their efforts to place the muscle back in its original location.

This is me with Casey and Marcie on our way back to the car from the tide pools.

After we got home, I decided I'd better try out Marcie's Halloween costume to make sure it actually fits. The girl is huge! This morning I put a pair of 18-month pants on her, which I had to roll up. I pulled them off her not 10 minutes later b/c they were way too tight on her thights and her bottom. Poor kid. Guess we're going to have to stick to soft (and flexible) cotton for now!

Baby Girl News

Our friends and neighbors were on vacation with us in Florida when we got word to head for Ohio for Casey's birth. They welcomed their son J.T. a mere 3.5 months later (the boys love causing trouble at soccer together). We returned from China with Marcie on September 2nd/3rd, and they have now welcomed their daughter, Reese into the world today-- a mere six weeks later. She is gorgeous-- you can check her out on their blog:

www.gould23.blogspot.com

Enjoy!

Train Song and Halloween Bonanza

Last Wednesday, Casey's class went on a field trip to a nearby pumpkin patch. Here are a couple photos:




Last weekend my parents were in town. This was fun for me. I hope it was fun for them. They weren't actually here to see me (or Marcie or Casey), but that's okay. They were here to stay with one of our nephews, Joey. He is cute as a button. My brother turned the big 3-0 last week so off he went to Vegas with his wife for a short weekend.

Anyway, those of you who know me know that I am not much for Mexican food. I go to great lengths to avoid it. I will go almost anywhere with a group and find something on a menu I can eat. But I am never shy about telling everyone, "I HATE Mexican food." It gives me indigestion. I don't like the taste much-- it's too spicy to really enjoy. Yes, I am a weirdo. I'm a picky eater. But that's who I am, and as much as I may want to enjoy salsa, it's just not going to happen. This is why it's so strange that I've been craving cheese enchiladas. But I have. Anyway, when my parents arrived, I suggested lunch at a restaurant in Old Town, which could only mean one thing: Mexican food. My parents were pleasantly shocked and off we went to lunch. Marcie immediately took to my dad like she'd spent every day of her life with him. And she really enjoyed the music, bouncing to it in her high chair. Here they are:


Then on Saturday after soccer, we took the boys to Old Poway Park. We have a real live steam engine there that runs through the park and gives rides for $2 per person. And this weekend they had a festival: Train Song. They had music and story tellers and booths with face painters and trains. The train museum-- with a scaled model of a railroad was open. It was fun. We got in the covered car and a "bank robber" joined us. So we even enjoyed and old-fashioned western-style gun fight. Casey screamed when the first shot was fired and shouted, "Oh no!" He fake-cried when the guy went down on the ground (but couldn't help giggling when his hat fell off). And when everyone stood back up at the end (to show it was just pretend), Casey cheered and clapped. It was all very cute. Marcie, on the other hand, didn't care that we were on a train ride. She took a liking to the nice elderly gentleman sitting next to us and played with his watch the whole time. After the train ride, Casey got a brand new pair of Thomas shoes. They were only half the price of his fire truck shoes. And even though the fire truck shoes are better shoes and they fit Casey better, he has been wearing his Thomas shoes pretty much from the moment he wakes up until he takes his bath before bed. I'm glad he likes them!

In the afternoon, Jason's mom came over to have the kids try on clothes she'd bought them. She brought all sorts of wonderful outfits for both of them. Disappointingly almost none of the clothes fit Marcie. The pants were too big and the shirts were too small. And that was size 24-month! Now, don't get me wrong. Marcie is currently mainly wearing size 18-month clothes (with a spattering of 12-month articles). But I guess some brands run smaller than others and though they fit now, they won't fit when the weather cools down and she needs the warm clothing. Good thing Jason's mom thought to have the kids try stuff on before washing it!

That night, we went to Casey's favorite restaurant for dinner-- Red Robin. At a mall. The boys (Casey and Joey) ran around in the kids play area while we waited for our table. Marcie had her first public "accident." Somebody (read: Jason) put her diaper on crooked and the poop went all down her leg. I used every last wet wipe cleaning it up and dug into the diaper bag to pull out the spare pants-- only to discover I didn't actually bring spare pants. Apparently I grabbed two onesies instead of a onesie and pants. Nice. So Marcie enjoyed the rest of the evening in a pair of Casey's rolled up pants. I didn't have my camera, so this entry is the only evidence I've got of the incident.

Sunday morning Jason cut Casey's hair. He tried to leave in curls, but I thought it looked too much like a mullet, so he appeased me and shortened the back, too. I didn't think to get pictures before and after, so you'll have to just scroll back through photos to compare the two. . .

That about sums up last weekend. The week so far has been (thankfully) uneventful. Casey's Halloween costume arrived on Monday, and he's been wearing it to eat breakfast and before bedtime. May as well get as much use out of it as possible. When he saw it, he told Jason he wanted a Percy costume, too! So funny!
Marcie is going to be a ladybug for Halloween-- come to think of it, I haven't tried the 12-month sized costume on her-- maybe I should to make sure it fits!

It Takes a Village

Today Marcie returned to the doctor to review her immunization record and check in. We had to get it translated to see what was missing. Turns out quite a lot. We did 3shots today. Another 3 or 4 at her 12 month check up in 6 weeks, then a few more 6-8 weeks after that. Poor kid. I had my camera and contemplated taking a host of her crying with the bandaids on her meaty legs, but then my mind got the better of me and I decided it was too mean.

Our last check up was 4 weeks ago-- and since then she has actually grown a little over 1/2 and inch and put on a bit more than a pound! I think this is astounding. Is it normal? No idea-- Casey is only 3 1/2, but I have no recollection of how quickly he gained wait. Guess I could look back. All I remember is that he hit 20 pounds right around 12 months and only gained like 3 or 4 pounds the whole next year. That means Marcie currently weighs about what Casey weighed at age 2. Totally crazy.

Last weekend while Jason was working, I decided to brave the world with the kids in tow. First, on Friday evening, I took them down to the park near our house. I bumped into someone I knew from when I was in the classroom, and it was nice to catch up a bit. Then, with Marcie sitting on my lap, I watched Casey make a crazy, daredevil move. He climbed up the ladder toward the monkey bars and lept for the bar, missing, tangling his leg in the ladder part, and landing on the side of his face, with his next twisted. . . What do you do with the 10 month old on your lap when your three year old is contorted into such a state? Amy to the rescue! I literally interrupted her mid-sentence and handed her Marcie, then sprinted off to pick up Casey, who was sitting up on his bottom by the time I got to him. We washed off all the sand from his eye and his mouth in the drinking fountain, took deep breaths, checked his arms and shoulders for anything dislocated, torn, or broken, and walked back over to the sand. He was fine-- what a tough kid! But I am so grateful Amy was there!

Then on Saturday, the law firm where I will be working after graduation was having their company picnic at Mission Bay, and I thought it would be fun to bring Marcie and Casey to meet everyone. Off we went. Thankfully, there were a lot of helpful hands-- Casey immediately attached himself to a family with kids close in age to him and Marcie and ran into the sand playground, then followed them off to fly a kite. This gave me enough time to eat. But after they left, I had to chase Casey all over the place. Fortunately, there were plenty of hands to help out with Marcie-- and she did amazingly well. Of course, when she saw me, she wanted me immediately-- which is great. Anyway, I don't know how I could have spent those two hours or so without the help of so many people. . .

From the bay we drove up the coast to a princess birthday party. It was at my sister-in-law's sister's house. (How crazy does that sound-- this is my brother's wife's sister whose child was turning three.) We've been fortunate to be included in all the family birthdays, so they know us (and Casey) well, and they were overjoyed to meet Marcie. Of course they had a million questions about her and her adoption, which I dutifully answered to the best of my ability. The nice thing about this party was that even though it was just me with the two kids, it was safe for Casey to run all over because everyone knows who he is and watches out for him. Plus, the yard was fenced in.

Finally, we headed home. On our way up the hill to our house, Casey spotted Sponge Bob walking up the street. Saturday was the day of the neighborhood block party-- and we got a flyer inviting us this year. After I got the kids in the house and fed them, we walked down the street to the party, where Casey met up with his good friend J.T. (of Gould23 blog fame). The two boys ran all around, jumped in the bouncy house, bounced down the slide, and became Sponge Bob's personal sidekick for the evening. We also met a very nice couple who has three foster children through the County, one of whom they are in the process of adopting. How cool! And we saw our neighbors who finally got to ask us all about Marcie. I am so glad we went. It's nice to finally meet some people. We've been living in our house for over three years now, and because I'm never home, I haven't really met anyone (except our next door neighbor who complains that our dog barks too much while we are gone-- hopefully that is resolved now, because no one wants to be the neighbor with the irritating dog!).

What an exhausting weekend! But it was fun, and the kids did great!

Somebody Ate My Dinner

Have you ever purchased and item of food and had your heart on eating it at a given time? You know, you think about it all day. And every time you think about that food waiting, you think, "Ah! I can't wait!"

Today was one of those days. I discovered Lean Pocket Subs-- the pepperonia pizza ones. They are yummy, yummy, yummy. I brought it to school yesterday and stuck it in the freezer. I was going to eat it after class, but then I forgot my books (!) at home and ended up going home because I didn't have anything with me to study. So I thought about that Lean Pocket ALL DAY.

Well, it's 7:27pm. About 30 minutes ago, I wandered down to the refrigerator to heat up my dinner between classes, and it was gone! Yes, I really looked. I took out all the frozen food items searching for it. I mean, who takes someone else's food? You have to know it's not yours!!! How do you make that kind of mistake?

Thankfully I was able to borrow 60 cents from a friend to buy a stupid Lunchable from the vending machine. Three times the calories and three times the fat. And not as tasty either! Sigh. I guess this is just the price I pay to be in law school . . .

In more important news, I want to write out the three parties we went to last weekend, Marcie's doctor's appointment today, and Casey's class trip to the pumpkin patch. But right now my Remedies professor is about to begin lecturing, so you'll have to check back later!

If A Picture's Worth 1,000 Words . . .

Then what are these worth?


This is Marcie after pulling herself up in her pack n play. She does this pretty regularly now-- and see what a good mood she's in after napping?


This is a picture of one of Casey's brand new light-up fire truck stride right shoes. Darnit if these aren't more expensive than the shoes I buy, but he has such a wide foot and he needs the "toddler tech" element of these shoes. When we started the summer, Casey wore a size 8.5. Now he's in a size 10!!!


I like to call this photo: Boy and His Dog. Okay, it's not really his dog. Pugasus is really Jason's dog. But I'm just so impressed with how well Casey is getting along with him. He used to think playing with Pugasus was synonymous with pulling the dog's tail-- but look at them together now!


Casey has been asking to play with Marcie a lot lately. And even with her in her crib. She doesn't actually sleep in her crib yet (she's still in our room in the pack n play). We have been napping her in her crib though as part of the transition to her own room. (If you are wondering why we are letting a 10-month-old sleep in our room, consider that A. she has never slept alone in a room before in her life-- she has only recently begun sleeping in her own bed and B. we have only had Marcie for about 6 weeks. We had Casey in our room for 8 weeks, so I feel like we owe Marcie something close to that.) Anyway, aren't they cute?

This next series of photos features Marcie in her cool French tank top with a fish on it (thanks for bringing that back from France for her, Ann!). It says, "Par le marseilles." Anyone know what that means? It also features this very cool light-up duck we received in the mail yesterday as part of a way-too-generous gift package from my Aunt Joanne and Uncle Bruno (and fam)-- thanks guys-- as you can see, Marcie loves it!

Turning the Corner

I'm going to post two entries today. Here is the first:

I realize that lately this blog has been as much (if not more) about Casey than Marcie. What can you do? I write it as I see it. . . He does seem to have turned a corner, though. He isn't perfect, mind you, but the day after I wrote "Scream-Free Morning," Casey seemed to have a bit of a melt-down. We were on our way out the door to speech therapy, where (until today) we haven't managed to arrive on time. When Casey got in the car, he found some cars Jason and I brought him home from China and he had to have them. I buckled him in, but he dropped one of the cars on the floor. I picked it up and gave it to him, but he insisted there was still one on the floor. I told him there was nothing on the floor-- he insisted there was. Then he reached over and started smacking the side arm of Marcie's car seat repeatedly while screaming, "I want car! Car on floor!"

Now, there are two kinds of yelling parents. I actually did not grow up in a yelling family. I honestly cannot remember a single time my parents actually raised their voices. I mean, they must have, right? But I don't remember it. Anyway, I figure there are two types of yellers-- those who yell at you because they are angry, and those who yell for you to get your attention because you are not listening. I admit that every once in a while I get frustrated and find myself in that first category, but it's pretty rare. But with Casey, I've begun falling into the second category. Sometimes he is just so focused on what he wants, I think he really cannot hear me.

So I raised my voice, "Casey, stop hitting Marcie. CASEY, stop hitting Marcie. CASEY, I need you to listen. CASEY, STOP hitting Marcie. CASEY, STOP HITTING." Casey looked right at me and said, "No yelling Casey, Mommy." I stopped yelling and said, "Mommy is not yelling now. I need you to stop hitting Marcie so we can go see Miss Karen (the speech therapist)." I don't think he even heard me. He started screaming, "NO YELLING CASEY, MOMMY!" And then he began hitting Marcie again.

At that point, I was so mad. Now this all occurred in mere moments, but it was clearly escalating. I unbuckled him and carried Casey, literally kicking and screaming, bucking his body back and forth against me, back into the house where I plopped him on the floor of his bedroom. I said, very calmly, "That is not acceptable behavior. You do not hit Marcie. You do not yell at Mommy. When you are ready to behave, we'll go back out to the car and look for your toy car together. But we are not going until you are calm." I repeated this at least three times-- after each time he yelled. Then, miraculously, he became calm. "Ready," he said. And we went to the car. There was no toy on the floor. He told Marcie he was sorry, and off we went.

I turned on my auto-pilot and headed off onto the freeway to work of all places. I had to back-track, and I tried calling to say we were late, but they said they couldn't forward me to the number and blah blah blah. Anyway, we were 30 minutes late. And I didn't feel badly about it. You know, if he misses therapy because he is not behaving, so be it. We can't live our lives at Casey's crazy anger binges and whims. (I say that like it's always a problem, but it's not-- so that was probably a bit overstated.) A part of me realizes that I've been so permissive because it is easier than being firm, especially when your time with your child is limited. But we will get along better if we play be the same rules-- and hitting is a definite "Go to jail. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200" offense.

Anyway, since our little incident, and my decision not to put up with it, things seem to better. I was thinking that Casey has really turned a corner, and there is some truth to that-- but I think I have turned a corner, too. When I interviewed at a very prestigious law firm last fall, one of the partners was telling me about his 5-year-old (he had older children, too). I asked him what he was doing differently this time, and he said, "I've decided I will not compromise." I thought that was weird, but now I get it. That doesn't mean being inflexible. But it means being strong. Being structured. Being disciplined. And I think Casey will love me for it in the end. At least I hope so.

A Scream-Free Morning

I don't want to spend a lot of time blogging, but I want to write about this before I forget. Casey had an exceptional morning this morning. He woke up Marcie (and me) at 6:24am. Then we went and played in the family room, where we have moved the train set his birth family so generously purchased him while we were visiting them in May. He has the plastic Thomas train track going around the beautiful wooden track. While he played, Marcie bounced away in her jumperoo.

When it was time to eat, he ate. When Marcie crawled around, Casey admittedly scrambled to snatch up his toys, and occasionally chattered, "No, Marcie. That's Casey's toy." But he didn't get in her facet and scream. And he didn't push. And he didn't hit or kick. The absence of any one of these would be progress, and he managed to eliminate them all!

When it was time to get dressed, Casey got dressed. When Casey was ready to go potty, he went on his own. And when it was time to brush his teeth and comb his hair, he brushed his teeth while I combed his hair (to look like Mr. Incredible, just like he likes). He played some more. Marcie played some more nearby. While I made Casey's lunch, Casey played with the dog-- gently. He hugged him, and wrapped his arm around Pugasus like they were old pals.

When it was time to go to occupational therapy, Casey climbed into the car without complaint. And when he got out of the car, he stayed right by Marcie's stroller instead of charging out into parking lot traffic. He even held on the stroller handle while we walked through the elementary school campus.

When I dropped off Casey at school after occupational therapy, he sat in the chair I pulled out for him and listened to his teacher reading. His friend Jacob kept trying to distract him, but I could tell Casey was honestly trying to listen. He kissed me good bye and told me he loved me. No clinginess. No tears.

I can't honestly remember the last time I spent 4 hours with Casey that I didn't even put him in time-out once . . . that makes today a banner day. . . I hope it lasts!

I DO have photos of Casey's new light-up fire truck shoes (size 10!-- and he was wearing size 8.5 in May!) and of Casey with the dog and of Marcie pulling herself up. So check back later for an update!

First American Cold

So Marcie has her first American cold. Casey brought something home (probably from school), which he kindly passed to me. And now Marcie has it, too. She is awfully good natured for a sick child (except when we suck the snot out of her nose; she hates that). But she is not a good sleeper. Even with a cool mist humidifier and a nice dose of Benadryl. For the last three days/nights in a row, she has been up at least at midnight (last night she was also up at 1:30am and 2:30am and 3:15am), and she has woken up for the day at 5:00am. Wait. Maybe the 5:00am thing is just yesterday and today; I'm not totally sure. . . but it pretty much blows. . . though at least it's been on the weekend and I could get up with her then "trade" with Jason and go back to bed around 7:00am for an hour or two. Which is nice since I have a cold, too, and Marcie's nap schedule doesn't really leave me enough time to nap with her. And neither does the paper I've been working on for the past two weeks which was due on Friday, then Saturday morning, and (thankfully) now Monday. Very nice of them to extend the deadline for me. I've never had to ask for an extension before (and this is to a student editor not a professor, luckily), so I feel weird about it.

The cold isn't that bad, but it sure does produce a lot of snot. I don't think I've ever seen so much snot come out of such a tiny nose. When she sneezes, long strings of thick, yellow pasty snot dangle from her nose down to her knees. She looks so surprised and immediately begins trying to suck it back up again because she hates having her nose wiped. It's admittedly pretty gross, but really, what can you do? And her cough never actually went away. She was at the tail end of a cold when we met her on the 21st, and now another cold and she still has that cough. . .

Did I mention this is my third cold in four weeks? I haven't been sick this frequently since my first year of teaching. At least they have been mild so far. . . And now I'm off to school. I'm leaving Jason with both kids, who are, at the moment playing in Marcie's crib together. . . wish I could find my camera to capture that on film. It'll be great ammunition against Casey some day. . .

The Pee-pee King

I know. It's not a very nice title for a blog entry. It's not a very nice title for a person. But it's how I've begun to think of Casey lately. Did I mention that he has been having trouble sleeping? He has. He lays awake for long periods of time, tossing and turning and struggling to fall asleep. I wonder what is going through that little head of his. It's obvious to me and to Jason that he has very complicated emotions, and because he is speech and language delayed he struggles to express his feelings. And that's a generous description.

Last night Casey came to me while I was working on a paper and told me, "Mommy, I want swimming." What he means when he says this at night is not that he really wants to go swimming, but instead that he wants to take a bath. I don't understand why he doesn't just ask for a bath-- he asks for a shower. But nonetheless this is the metaphor he uses. So I say to him, "Go tell Dadddy, 'Daddy, I want to take a bath please.'" I heard Casey pad down the hall and say to Jason, "Daddy, I want bath." And I heard Jason tell him he could take a bath instead of a shower, and that he could finish watching his Thomas (the Tank Engine) show first.

The next thing I heard was Jason: "WHY DID YOU DO THAT?" Uh oh. That's never a good question. Particularly to a child who probably doesn't even understand why he did whatever he did-- I really think he just can't help whatever it is sometimes. I race down the hallway to catch Jason pulling the cushions off the couch and saying to Casey, "We don't pee on the couch. We pee in the potty. Big boys pee in the potty." Casey started to wail, and I escorted him first to the bathroom and then to the bedroom.

Last night was the second night in a row that Casey urinated in places where he shouldn't (and yesterday was the third day in a row he pooped in his overnight diaper before letting me know he was awake). The night before he apparently dropped his pants and just peed right on the family room carpet (which, thankfully, is an area rug). Just this week my mom mused how surprised she was Casey wasn't acting out more-- when I came home from the hospital, my older brother (also three years older than me, just like Casey is three years older than Marcie) took a permanent marker to the wall. I think she jinxed us. (Not really, but you know what I mean.) I don't know which is easier to get rid of-- permanent marker on a white wall or urine all over a leather sofa. I'm hoping not to find out. . .

You see, Casey's language skills make it difficult (at best) to get a complete story. For instance, earlier this week Casey was trying to tell us something that happened at school with Jacob. We know there was pushing. We know there was crying. But we couldn't tell who pushed whom. And when we ask Casey questions, he just repeats what we've said (it's no wonder to me that children in molestation cases can be so easily manipulated by interrogators investigating allegations). Or yesterday. When I went to pick up Casey from preschool, he had a huge lump on his head between his eyes. I asked if he fell down. He said, "fell down." Then he pointed to the concrete. But then to the bar/railing that lines the ramp. He hadn't cried, so his teacher didn't know what had happened. Though I suspect he head-butted a kid in his class because later Casey told me "push" and "Nir" (the name of another little boy). Then when a friend stopped by last evening for a brief visit to meet Marcie with her 3 year old Ben, Casey head-butted him. I was quite embarrassed. I know it was Casey's doing because Ben cried and Casey did not. Anyway, my point is that I can't figure out what Casey did or didn't do, what he needs or doesn't need, or what he wants (though he is awfully clear about what he does NOT want) a lot of the time. He just doesn't put words together. . . and this is very frustrating as a parent.

Is he peeing in odd places because negative attention is better than no attention (this is what Super Nanny Jo Frost suggests may be the culprit in her book, which I LOVE)? And if so, what is the appropriate reaction? Calmly removing him and putting him in his room for the evening? Yelling? Time out/punishment? It seems that if we spend time with him talking about what he did and why that he is getting the attention he craves, and that might encourage him to do other things (like draw with permanent marker on the wall!). But I don't think ignoring it is appropriate either. When Casey plays rough with Marcie or gets in her face and yells at her, it's an automatic time-out-- no warnings, no negotiation. Just not acceptable. It doesn't keep him from pushing her, though, so even that doesn't seem to be helping him with the transition. And it's not that he doesn't get any one-on-one time with either of us, because he does. In the mornings I spend time with Casey helping him brush his teeth, comb his hair, and get dressed. And in the evenings Jason spends probably 30 minutes reading him bedtime stories.

I wish he could talk about how he was feeling. I wonder if he'd get frustrated less easily. If he would rage less frequently. I wonder if he'd feel more comfortable about his place in the world if he could just express himself. I wonder how he processes concepts and ideas if not with words. It's all so foreign to me. . .

The Mirror in the Car

So I have one of those mirrors that sits on the back seat so I can see rear-facing Marcie while I'm driving around town. I am super paranoid about her choking or passing out or something, so it gives me peace of mind. (Yes, I know my paranoia is ridiculous when I haven't given her anything to eat-- that's why it's paranoia; it's unfounded.)

Anyway, the mirror thing actually sits between Casey and Marcie, and every time I put Marcie in the car after driving the two of them, I find myself needing to readjust it. But now I know why-- you see, Casey is rather vain. When he is crying, he likes to watch himself in the mirror (even a TV set or a sliding glass window will do). He likes to watch himself dance, brush his teeth-- anything. He just likes watching himself (perhaps he will be a great actor some day after studying his expressions in the mirror). Well, apparently he is no different in the car. The other day I turned around to catch Casey making faces in the mirror, which he had turned to face him. I couldn't help but laugh. Sometimes he just cracks me up!

The Life of a Stay-at-Home-Mom

Hmm. It's been a banner five days since I last posted. I'm now so impressed by those people who are able to post with extreme regularity when they are home with children. I could always find time to post at work during lunch, but the kids don't seem receptive to losing Mommy to the computer (and I don't really blame them).

So the big news is that this morning Marcie pulled herself up to standing in her crib. I wish I'd snapped a photo, but she was mad and wanted to be picked up and it wouldn't have been pretty. So I didn't. Yesterday she was almost there, and today-- viola! Today she also has a rash. It's little tiny red bumps on her arms and legs. Not the tops of her arms, just the bottom. The only dietary item I introduced today was vanilla custard, so I guess that's off the list for a while at least, which is too bad because she actually seemed to really like it. (As a side note, for thsoe of you without time to follow the news, spinach is out of our diet for a while, too. Ecoli. Scary stuff.)

Also quite interesting was Casey's behavior this morning. He got up at 6:15am, but Marcie was still sleeping. So we wandered out to the family room, where we played with his Thomas trains and ate breakfast (cocoa krispies-- oh-so-nutritious). When I woke up Marcie at 7:30 so I could give her a bottle before we had to leave, there was a definite shift in Casey's behavior. One time out (for hitting me) and one time out in his bedroom (for yelling at me and refusing to go to regular time out) later, Casey was in good spirits, and off we went to school. It helps that he loves walking to school (and by walking I mean that he loves having ME walk and push THEM in the stroller). Plus he's not sleeping as well as he could be. It took him an hour and fifteen minutes to fall asleep Saturday for his nap. It took him over an hour to fall asleep at bedtime Saturday night. And it took him a while to fall asleep last night. But it's not that he's getting too much sleep because he seemed tired on the soccer field Saturday morning. So I think he's struggling. Interestingly, he has never once told Marcie to go away (though he tells me to go away all the time). And he's never called her a name or told us to take her back, or anything. . . So my guess is that he feels really torn. He loves his sister but he misses being an only child.

So speaking of strollers, as you can tell from the photo above, we bought one. Jason wanted a duo-glider (Graco), which is a tandem. I was leaning toward the sit n'stand, which is what most parents with kids three years apart in age seem to have. But after learning the duo glider only holds up to 40 pounds in each seat, we decided to explore the McClaren Techno Twin. We have a single McClaren, which we absolutely love and which was well worth the ridiculous price. I liked the sit-n-stand, but it didn't seem very comfortable. The front seat doesn't recline very far, and there is no back rest to the back seat. And no sun cover. Plus I'm so short, it just didn't work for me to have Casey standing up in front of me. Then we saw the most amazing stroller I have ever test-driven. The B.O.B. It's a jogger stroller, but it glides. It's like pushing a single stroller. It was amazing. But I just couldn't justify spending $539 so I could walk the kids to school and glide while doing it. So the McClaren won. If Casey were a walker, it probably wouldn't be a good option, but he still prefers his stroller when we're at the Wild Animal Park and such, and so I'm happy with it. (And special thanks to Keely and Grace for helping work through what we wanted!)

Speaking of Keely and Grace-- they are these two fabulous women I used to work with/for. I say "used to" only because Keely left in June to have a beautiful daughter (Katelyn). I say work with/for because Grace started out as a co-worker and has since become my boss. She has a son (Lucas) who is a year older than Katelyn. This is cool because it makes Marcie the "bridge" child, as she is almost exactly half-way between Lucas and Katelyn's ages. So when Grace was expecting Lucas, Keely and I purchased a Jumperoo for her to use with him. It was Keely's idea, and it's a great contraption. Well, on Saturday, Grace and her husband and son stopped by for a visit (they didn't really "stop by" because we aren't really on the way to anything-- really, they went way far out of their way to come to the house to see Marcie and bring us toys). They brought a car, a leap pad table, and the jumperoo for Marcie. What fun, what joy! She loves the new toys, and the jumperoo is excellent exercise for her legs! Yippee! You can tell she likes it from the photos, don't you think?

So I've been trying to capture a great photo of Marcie and Casey to use on the adoption/birth announcements we're sending out for Marcie (some time next week, in theory). This has not been an easy task. But Sunday morning I was able to snap some cute shots-- here are just a couple:

I think that's about all in stay-at-home-land. I really thought I'd be more bored than I've been. Between driving Casey to speech and walking the kids to school (which is how I'm getting in my exercise), and feeding Marcie, there isn't much free time in the day. Sure, I get the dishes done most days and vaccuum a couple times a week-- and even throw in a load of laundry here and there, but I still wonder where the time goes. On Saturday Jason worked all day after taking Casey to soccer in the morning. By the time he got home, I'd been with the kids all day and wanted some grown up conversation and companionship, but I had promised to go to a birthday party. Jason had just walked in the door, and he really wanted to unwind. Now, you'd think I would totally understand this. I'm all about unwinding at the end of the day-- not interacting with more people. But I was so crazed, I just wanted his attention. . .

I hope that some day in the near future when I work all day and Jason is home all day with the kids (there will likely be three of them by then), that I remember how I felt on Saturday-- how desperate I was for adult interaction. Even though Grace and Matt had come by. And even though I loved spending time with the kids. So I'm recording it as a reminder of how I felt for me to read years from now.

Oh, one more cute thing. Marcie, if she is tired, will sleep anywhere (not so much if she's not tired). Check out where she fell asleep while Jason was in the shower:

Well, this was a long post. I hope not to wait so long between posts next time. We are slowly adjusting into our routine, and I'm getting back into the swing of law school. We'll probably just get things figured out and it'll be time to go back to work! But that's how life is sometimes-- just when you get used to something, there is a slight shift to adjust to . . .

Advice for those traveling to Chongqing

I've noticed that several families will be traveling to Chongqing in the near future and have asked for advice for those of us who have been there and done that. So ignore this post if you aren't going to Chongqing. Also, I traveled with our agency, CCAI, and the choices our agency made (about where we'd stay, for example) may have influenced my advice.

1. As soon as you get your referral, order uncirculated $100 bills. Take $6,000 with you. I did not do this. We didn't really have an extra $6,000 lying around until close to travel time, so it wasn't like I could just collect it far in advance the way some families did. By the time I got around to it, my bank didn't have time to order it for me. They were willing to order it because it was for an international adoption (I explained this to them). They offered to expedite at a $70 charge, and I balked. In retrospect, the reduction of anxiety would have been well worth the $70 fee attached. Instead, my mom drove all around to different banks to collect the best $100 bills she could find. We brought $3,000 in very clean bills. But the $3,000 is just the orphanage fee-- there was another $800-and-something in other fees, and I didn't have clean $100 bills for that, so I used traveler's checks. I would not recommend this. They were new to the bank, which didn't want to take them initially. It took years off my life. Ultimately they took the travelers checks, but money would have been easier. Also, uncirculated is better because the bank won't reject the money. One person in our group at $800 worth of bills rejected. Fortunately there were people in our group who had extra money and could "trade" the bills (the hotels are less picky, but they don't exchange thousands of dollars worth at one time).

2. Bring an umbrella. It generally rains daily in Chongqing. We were there in August, and it was freaking hot. I actually used the umbrella for shade once. (We actually didn't get any rain because there was a drought.)

3. If you are with CCAI, they have switched to the Golden Resources hotel from the Hilton. This is because of its location. There is much to walk to from the hotel, and an underground 24-hour Vegas-style area. If you are staying at the Golden Resources hotel, bring a sheet or a tablecloth because even though the hotel was recently renovated, the carpeting is gross. We used the tablecloth on the floor of the hotel so we could play with our daughter.

4. Bring DVDs of some kind to watch on your lap top or DVD player. The hotels have HBO, CNN, and BBC (there are more channels in Guangzhou). And the American channels go out with some frequency.

5. Bring a baby carrier. I personally am against strollers if you can get away with the carrier for attachment reasons. Your guide will recommend against using a stroller or facing the baby outward in a carrier for at least the first couple days. That said, our child was a big girl (over 20 pounds when we received her), and I literally couldn't carry her around on me all the time in the heat-- it was just too much (she is almost 20% of my body weight). If you are going to buy a stroller, buy them at the grocery store. It's less expensive than the department stores. The grocery store under the Golden Resources hotel has them for the lowest price.

6. Bring a "milk compact" and a thermos with you. You will need both. Also, bring nipples with x's cut in them because the fast flow nipple holes are not big enough to fit the formula mixture, which gets stuck and frustrates the babies. We didn't use our bottle brush or our tongs because we sterilized it all with boiling water after rinsing it. We had three nipples and three bottles, so we weren't sterilizing immediately before use-- we waited for the water to cool off before touching any of the stuff.

7. Bring a fitted crib sheet to use in the crib, and a blanket. The hotel stuff is okay, but you'll be glad you have the fitted sheet (at least I was).

8. You don't need a lot of toys-- a few simple ones will suffice, and they take up a lot of space. You will be mostly interacting directly with your child for play anyway. The department stores all carry sassy toys and the like, so you can always take the baby there to see what she likes. Just be aware the department stores don't take credit cards (I think maybe one does, but only Visa).

9. Buy enough formula to get you back to the U.S. to transition. They do have baby formula in Guangzhou, but the selection is very limited.

10. At least half the babies in our group got constipated. Bring baby prunes, pears, and peaches. Bring glycerine suppositories. Bring mucinex (for a stool softener).

11. You can buy diapers and baby wipes. We brought 12 diapers and only used 6. We only used them to travel. They sell pampers and huggies, but we used sealers and they worked just fine.

12. If your child is in yunyang chenxiang SWI, they will take pictures on your disposable camera and return it to you. You can get the photos developed in Chongqing (and should) inexpensively. If you wait, they might be hurt going through the x-ray machine. If you send a sassy photo album with your pictures, the orphanage will share it with your daughter. I think this really helped her transition.

13. Be prepared to see the nannies and orphanage director the day after they place the child with you. They came to say good-bye to the girls at the adoption registration center. I thought it was good for the girls to see their nannies happy for them to be with us, but I think it upset some other parents, so you should be aware of it.

14. Some people used flashlights to read and such while their children were sleeping. We didn't have much of a problem with this-- Marcie had no trouble sleeping with the TV on, so we opted to just leave a light on in the hotel hallway instead.

15. The fruit and ice cubes at the hotel (Golden Resources) are safe. No one got sick from ice in their drinks at Pizza Hut, McDonalds, or KFC, either. Oh. Or from Starbucks. In fact, no one got sick from ice anywhere, as far as I know-- I think everywhere boils before freezing. Jason even ate squid on a stick twice and was no worse for the wear.

16. If you are blonde, be prepared to be touched a lot. People will ask to have a photo with you and want to touch you. If you are traveling with your American children, be prepared to be swarmed more than otherwise. Apparently it's considered good luck to touch American children, particularly boys. Prepare your kids for this (it's not unfriendly, just surprising).

17. If you stay at the Golden Resources, there is loud music three times a day (once in the morning and twice in the evening, I think). This is for the qigong exercises and also for the fountain show. None of the babies who were on that side of the hotel had problems with this.

18. You'll get a list of specific information about your child before meeting her. Read it closely and see if you have other questions. Our daughter had a cough-- another parent asked if it was the beginning or end of a cold and learned it was the beginning, which was good info. I wish I had asked when her last bowel movement was and what it meant that they were "regular" (three times a day, once every three days-- what?).

19. When you are in markets or taxis, especially in Guangzhou, remember to check the money to see if it is real before you walk away. Someone in our group was given a fake 50 RMB.

20. If you want to buy a cute Asian-doll, they have knitted ones at the Charity Store in Guangzhou. There are maps of the shops in the area. And Jennifers has all sorts of "free stuff" (like medicine and baby prunes) if you find yourself needing some in Guangzhou. I thought that was a really cool service.

21. Remember to bring cold medicine for yourself. My whole family caught a cold. Also, if you have bangs, consider bringing a headband of some kind. I know that sounds whacky but something about the water made my bangs not curl like they usually do when I dry them, and I had to use a headband just to keep them out of my face most of the trip.

22. Don't forget to bring a hat for the baby. And sunscreen for you and the baby.

23. If you have allergies, like hay fever, bring claritin for yourself. I got sinus headaches from all the smog (and I live in Southern California, so you'd think I'd be used to it!).

24. Our packing list told us to bring 4-5 baby outfits. I wish we'd brought more like 8. The updates on size they sent were really accurate, though, so use them as a guideline confidently. (And you can buy clothes there if necessary.)

25. A word on the laundry. The hotel's service is ridiculously expensive. The woman we sent our clothes to did a decent job, but she didn't get sweat stains out of some clothes, the clothes were pretty stretched out, and everything was stiff. We ended up buying tide soap bars in the grocery store and washing clothes in the hotel bathtub, then hanging them in the room in sun to dry (usually dried in 24 hours). This also allowed us to wash new baby clothes before putting them on Marcie. My mom bought some quick-dry clothes and her stuff dried over night. I know they make underwear like that. Just in case you are interested.

26. The hotels will provide you with converters for the power outlets, but we found they weren't actually necessary-- we just needed the plug converter, not the power one (I hope that made sense).

27. If you are going to rent a cell phone, I recommend Lotus Travel's Panda phone over JC travel's. The customer service is better and more clear. I was really glad to have it in China because we were 15 hours ahead and left a 3 1/2 year old at home. When it was a good time to talk to him (evening, before bed), we were usually out and about. Having the cell phone made it so we could reach him easily. We found phone cards easily in Beijing and Guangzhou, but didn't find any in Chongqing (though I'm sure our guide would have given us one if we needed it).

28. Have a second set of eyes go through all your paperwork to make sure you haven't forgotten anything you need (like the affidavit of traveling parent regarding immunizations, which you'll need for the U.S. visa).

Ok. Those were obviously in no particular order. I'm sure I will think of more odds and ends, but that's a good start. . .

So How is the Rest of the Family Adjusting?

This is an excellent question. And I'm not totally sure. I mean, Casey and Pugasus both seem to be doing really well. But I don't know what's normal. On Saturday, Casey and Marcie and I were at a birthday party for one of Casey's classmates. It was at the local park, and Casey had a blast. They took the kids on a train ride around the park; had a clown who did magic, painted a fire-breathing dragon on his am, and made balloon hat; had activities, including a water balloon toss (which was hilarious because, of course, none of the kids can catch!); and even had horse rides (Casey sat on the horse, but he refused to let it move while he was sitting on it). It might sound pretentious-- I mean I certainly counldnt afford that combination of activites-- but it really wasn't. The boy's parents were really friendly, the kids were just kids from the preschool and family friends-- it actually wasn't showy at all. It was just fun. And it was an opportunity for me to meet some of Casey's classmates' parents, which I haven't had much of a chance to do. This was a long introduction to Ryan's mom, who was really nice. She has three kids-- Robby, Ryan, and Reese. And Reese just turned one. So I asked how long it took Ryan to adjust to having a baby sister. And she told me that only one child gets "dethrowned," so Ryan's transition was fine. And because Ryan was never an only child, he didn't know any different anyway. I thought that was fascinating. Perhaps that explains why Pugasus is transitioning so well. I mean, he though he was our baby, until Casey came along-- and then it was pretty clear Pugasus wasn't our baby. But Casey never really had to compete with Pugasus, and now he kind of does have to with Marcie.

Marcie loves her big brother. She smiles for him when he comes into the room. And they have their own "special" language, which consists primarily of squawking loudly back and forth at/to each other. It's kind of endearing. At least to me and Jason. But probably not to other people, come to think of it. When Casey wakes up before Marcie, or when Marcie is napping, Casey is constantly asking where she is and when she'll be awake so he can play. And when we need to make Marcie's bottle, if we leave her in the saucer and ask Casey to play gently with her for us, like a good big brother, he does. Really, what more can you ask for-- he's only had her in his life for about a week?

But we have the expected bumps in the road, too. Casey loves having Marcie around but he tries to play with her like he would with any friend. Which is fun to him, but probably terrifying to her. He's a pretty rough-and-tumble kid, and she's, well, a baby. The only time there's really been an issue is when Casey was being punished in the car on Sunday (I took away a book). He was so mad, he tried to hit Marcie. Fortunately, she was passed out in her car seat beyond his reach, and all he got was a hand slap of plastic. He was in much better spirits after his nap. All in all, though, Casey has been pretty impressive. And he is cutest around other kids-- he is very protective of Marcie at school when we drop him off. And he insists on kissing Marcie good-bye. It's very cute.

Marcie, for her own part, also seems to be adjusting to life in America pretty well. She has stopped screaching in her car seat. We actually decided to trade cars because Jason's car had tinted windows, and I was having trouble blocking the sun effectively. When I go back to work in late November, we'll trade back because he'll have the kids more. But for now, this is a good trade (he, of course, may totally disagree).

Marcie is totally curious about everything-- carpet fibers, my watch, her hands, but especially Pugasus. Here are some photos of Marcie and Pugasus getting to know one another:

China: The Aftermath

So here it is, a week from the day we departed China.
Marcie is sleeping in the pack n play in our bedroom.
Casey is (in theory) napping at school.
Jason is at work, "bringing home the bacon."
And I'm supposed to be studying, but am unable to resist the temptation to blog.

I've begun wondering if I can get away with blogging Marcie's first few years instead of actually making her a baby book. Is that awful of me? It's just that I don't want to lose fragmented information, which I fear will be unintentionally flushed from my brain periodically. Like, for instance, the fact that she is the best eater ever. Today she ate room temperature baby food macaroni and cheese. And she liked it. I don't even think I'd eat that warmed up. And I know Casey wouldn't. So today it was mac n' cheese, pears, and prunes for lunch. Yesterday it was peas and chicken noodle and pruns for lunch. The day before that was pears and prunes and green beans. And she loves sweet potatoes (which I eliminated to help ensure she'd continue to poop).

Which brings me to the topic of poop. If you are faint-hearted-- or you just don't want to know anything more about Marcie's bowel movements-- skip this paragraph. She is pooping twice a day now. And she isn't straining anymore. I think this is because she is getting prunes and other foods which help-- like peas and peaches. But her baby poop is the most grown-up baby poop I've ever seen. It's what I expected Casey's poop to look like when he was 18 months old-- and didn't look like until after he was 3 (of course that could just be because it took him that to toilet train and when he was going in his diaper it was getting mashed by the weight of his body-- yes, I know, gross). Anyway, it's soft enough. But not at all runny. This makes cleaning her up incredibly easy, so I'm not complaining. And for all I know, Casey was the unusual one. So there you have it.

Anyway, here we are, a week back home. This week was ridiculously hectic for me. Casey started a new school schedule and a new speech therapy schedule. On top of adjusting to a new sister and re-adjusting to his life at home with us (instead of his fun grandparents). Plus, I was going back to school, two weeks into the school year and two weeks behind in the reading for two of my three classes. And then there was Marcie adjusting to the new schedule we were imposing on her. And of course, Marcie, Jason and I were adjusting to the fifteen-hour time difference. So that's a lot to handle in one week's time!

I'm proud to report, though, that Jason has Casey back on his regular bedtime routine; Marcie, Jason and I are all adjusted to Pacific Time; we have figured out Casey's speech and school schedule (and next week we add in the occupational therapy!); and I was able to catch up in my classes. So all is relatively right in the world. That's not to say I'm running on full steam. I'm exhausted. But I imagine I will feel exhausted for, oh, the next 18 years or so.

On Wednesday Marcie visited the doctor. I do have a photo of her in his office, with the lab slip for her blood work and urine sample. But it's on my camera, and darnit if Sprint won't let me e-mail it to myself without paying for their dumb Sprint vision for $5 a month. I hesitate to sign up and try to cancel because my customer service experience with Sprint has left much to be desired (read: I've not had a single positive customer service interaction with them since switching to Sprint from Verizon and wish I had not done so). That's an issue for another post. So you'll just have to imagine how cute Marcie looked.

The good news is that Marcie checks out with a clean bill of health! She is enormous-- 29.5 inches long (that's the 95th percentile), 21 lbs and 5 ounces (that's the 80th percentile), and her head is in the 75th percentile. And that's on the American charts-- she's off the charts in China! In fact, she is around 2/3 of Casey's weight, and less than 10 inches shorter, even though she's three years younger. I imagine she'll thin out as she crawls more and learns to walk.

They did a TB test, which I'm taking her back to have read today. And they sent us to Pomerado Hospital for her lab work (where they draw the blood and send it to Children's Hospital). Before leaving the pediatrician's office, they also "bagged her." That means they cleaned her privates with iodine and stuck (literally stuck-- with an adhesive) a bag to cover the area so that she'd pee into it so they could run a urine sample. I have no idea what all the urine test is testing, or what the blood work is testing. We asked them to check for lead because we'd noticed peeling paint in the orphanage photos (which I plan to scan and post at some point in time in the near future, right after I write thank yous). Anyway, they were amazing at Pomerado-- it was a totally different experience from when Casey was 10 months old and so sick and we had to have blood drawn. And Marcie, though she cried, handled it like a real champ. I'm glad it was the lab techs who removed the adhesive bag, though.

We also don't know which immunization Marcie is missing. They didn't translate the immunization record for us in China, but our agency said if we fax it to them, they will have the translation department look at it, so that's good news.

I also ran into glitches because they said we have to pay out of pocket for Marcie since she's not a newborn and not yet on our insurance. This is odd because our insurance company claims to cover post-placement pre-adoptive children, and they give us 30 days after placement to report the adoption. So I don't understand how they can claim we have an uncovered child-- particularly because we can prove we only received her a couple weeks ago. And I ran into this issue not just with our pediatrician's office, but also with the lab at Children's Hospital, which actually called me at home because they wanted to know who was going to pay for this lab work the doctor had ordered. How crazy is that? The US government won't let you adopt a child unless you promise to medically care for them, but no one wants to touch the child because they don't want to get stuck with the bill either. So dumb. It's a child. Just take care of her and worry about the financial details later. . .

So that was the big excitement for the week. The doctor's visit, I mean-- not the pooping.
I'm hopeful that next week will go even more smoothly, now that we are settled into a routine. I have been getting exercise (for those of you who dared challenge me to figure out how!). Marcie and I walk for 45-50 minutes on Tuesdays and Thursdays while Casey is at speech. And Mondays and Fridays, I'm walking Casey to school in the mornings. What I need to figure out now (for the walk to school) is what to do with Casey. It's too far for him to walk the whole way. And Marcie is about 20% of my body weight, and carrying her on my stomach is a bit much for me up the hills. It was fine for this morning, but as she gets heavier, it won't be a good long-term approach. Jason is a fan of the tandem strollers, but I'm not sold on that idea. Still, Marcie is a little too slouchy to be in an umbrella stroller that doesn't have a bar on it (the McClaren's don't have the bar). If a side-by-side umbrella had a bar, at least she could hold herself up/forward. Or maybe the solution is a side-by-side (ridiculously expensive) jogger. But how do any of these maneuver in stores? Any thoughts?

Oh, and by the way, I don't really plan to blog instead of a baby book. But given the time constraints on my life, for now, at least I'm recording the details so I can put them into the book later on. . . it's a start.

P.S. While I'm at it, so I don't forget, everyone has had a different nickname for Casey. Jason's mom calls him chow-choo-pay (that's the pronunciation). Jason't dad calls him sour pickle. Jason calls him monkey. I call him boo and bubba. I just don't want to forget that detail as the nicknames subside. And for the record, I've taken to calling Marcie pumpkin pie. No idea why, it's just what comes out of my mouth.

Things I Liked About China

It has come to my attention that I perhaps over-emphasized the difficulties of our trip without sharing much about what I liked. Now that I've been home a couple days, in the comfort of my home (and language), I can already say it was well worth it and I'd do it again. My feelings on the trip were absolutely colored by two major emotional pushes/pulls: being sick for almost a week and missing Casey terribly. You probably could have taken bets on either of these things happening, and though I was relatively prepared for the fomer, the latter caught me completely off-guard. I love Casey, but I've never been weepy when I've been away from him-- at least not before this trip. I can't say we were wrong to leave him behind. The trip would have been really hard on him, particularly because he is such a picky eater and he is a little ball of energy. It would have necessarily divided our attention between Casey and his sister, which is not necessarily a bad thing, but it was nice to give Marcie some relatively undivided attention, which she certainly craved after 9 months in an orphanage. I also can't say we were right to leave him behind. The families who brought their children-- even the 3 and half year old-- absolutely made sacrifices when it came to tour schedules and what-not. But they had the tremendous joy and pleasure of experiencing the addition to their family as in-tact families, and there is definitely something to be said for that, at least emotionally speaking.

Anyway, to dispell the sense that I didn't enjoy the trip, you should know that I'm the kind of person who experiences something once and, as a general rule, likes to move on to try something new. But I'd still consider going back to China and doing it all again. (I'd just be sure to order the money and have someone else check to make sure I hadn't forgotten any documents before we left!) Here are some reasons why I would do it again in China:

1. The people were generally warm. They tried hard to communicate with us in English, even though we were visitors in their country and really made little attempt to speak Mandarin (except to say we didn't want something or we didn't want something to be spicy).

2. The food service was impeccable. At first, I was a little freaked out that they (literally) stood over us at restaurants and waited for us to order. Then I realized it was because they wanted to put in our food orders immediately.

3. Nobody rushes anywhere, really. Sometimes in the U.S. I feel like I will never be on time to anything again. Even if I get going really early, that will be the day Casey (our 3-year-old) will pitch a fit and refuse to do anything, making me at least 15 minutes late to wherever I am supposed to be. In China, no one ever rushed us. Even in the restaurants, where it would be considered "camping" to sit around and talk for a long time after dinner, the servers left us alone. For a long time, we couldn't figure out why it took so long to get the bill. Then we realized we just needed to ask for one and they'd bring it right away.

4. The food was actually pretty good. My favorite was the peking duck (in Peking, of course). But I thought the Canotense food I had everywhere was pretty good. I know I complained about not having breakfast options, but really it's because I'm not big on breakfast foods and didn't feel like eating eggs (which they prepared to your liking, at your request, on the spot). Once I discovered the cereal, I was good to go.

5. There are lots of opportunities to shop. Enough said.

6. People don't care if you cut in line. Okay-- not sure that's a good thing, but I definitely didn't find the behavior to be rude. When you've got 12 billion people in a city (like Chongqing), how can you avoid a little pushing and shoving? And I admit I was irritated when I was standing at the front of the line and handing the clerk my credit card when the woman literally ignored the line (of Americans, of course) behind me and stuck her room key over the top of my credit card, saying something in Mandarin, which resulted in the clerk providing her immediate service. But you know the saying- When in Rome-- so once we figured out that it's not rude to shove to the front, we just joined in the fun (particularly on airplanes).

7. Bottled water is very inexpensive. Good thing, too, because the water is "not potable." I think that means you aren't supposed to drink it. I never did.

8. Being an American with a small child in China is like being a rock star or celebrity. Everyone wants to touch the baby, touch you, tell you how beautiful your child is, tell you how lucky the baby is (when I know it's really me who is the lucky one). Walking down the street in a group of Americans-- even a group of, say, 3 people-- means having people pay attention. Another nice thing about this happening in China is that it only lasts while you are there and you get to return to your anonymous life back in the U.S.

9. In the department stores, people actually help you. In every department there is someone to help you find the size or the color or whatever you want! You just have to remember to get them to fill out a receipt and then go pay for it-- you can't take it with you. But after you pay, when you go back to retrieve it, it's all wrapped up and ready for you.

10. People remember your face. Seriously. They are so gracious and helpful, they remember you individually. They remember what clothes or items you were looking at or what you ate or whatever. At Starbucks, they'd even say, "see you tomorrow," or "It's nice to see you again today!" I am particularly impressed by this because I thought for certain that to Chinese people, all white people would look alike. That may not be politically correct, but who knows the difference between Italian and Greek and Irish and whatever anymore-- but the people in China really did remember us as individuals. Quite impressive.

11. I felt very safe in China. I remember traveling in Italy and even living in Spain for a while when I was in college or just out of school. I remember carrying my passport on my body at all times. Wearing a money belt around my waist to avoid pick-pockets. Feeling concerned at all times someone was trying to rip me off. China was not at all like that. That's not to say you should flaunt your wallet or anything, but I didn't feel quite so paranoid about having money on me, and I felt safe leaving my passport in the safe, along with my computer and our video camera, throughout our stay in the various cities. Perhaps it was a false sense of security-- I did get sort-of scammed, and one of our friends was given fake money in Guangzhou. But there are people like that everywhere in the world, and for the most part China seems to be a safe place to go. I wouldn't hesitate to walk the streets of Guanzhou or Chongqing after dark on my own (not that I did-- but my lack of exercise had more to do with laziness than security concerns).

12. The domestic airline service was amazing. Food on every flight. Beverages (even if Pepsi and Coke Light weren't available). Seats were basically the same size as in the U.S., too. What more can a girl ask for?

So there you have it-- 12 good things about traveling to China.
We definitely plan to go back, if not to adopt our third child then at least to visit Marcie's home land when she gets older. It's the least we can do for her- don't you think?

Sorry about the lack of photos on such a long post. But not sorry enough to locate any to put here. The beauty of my words will just have to suffice. Ha ha.

Friday, September 1, 2006: Depart Guangzhou, Arrive San Diego

I didn't make it online like I thought I would-- though I was up and awake in the middle of the night, as anticipated. . . Our final day in China flew by. We needed to pick up a few things from the little shops near the White Swan, so after breakfast, we troddled off to do just that. We found a soft Chinese Doll at the Charity Shop, and we told Kyndra and Larry we'd pick up one for Cassidy, so that's where we started out. Because so many people had left Guangzhou early in the day, it was really quiet on the streets, and there was a lot of high pressure sales, which isn't really my thing. But we survived it.

We stopped for lunch at Blenz (a Canadian coffee company) before returning to the hotel. The food there was significantly less expensive than at the hotel. Then Marcie napped while Jason and my mom went across the bridge hunting for some toys for Casey. You'd think, with all the stuff made in China these days, we'd be able to find toys easily, but it wasn't so simple. In one shop, the owner wrapped up a toy her son was playing with and tried to sell it to us! Jason told her he didn't want it that way-- no reason to teach her child to hate Americans (even through such subtle measures)! It was also interesting that we really didn't see any boys' clothes-- just clothes for girls.

We finished packing by 4:30pm and set out our bags for the hotel to pick up. Then we gave Marcie a bath. She screamed the entire time. I don't know if she was mad in general, or if she was weirded out by not saying anyone from her orphanage all day, then watching us pack, then getting a bath and a change of clothes. I think I'd have been pretty freaked out if I were her! We went downstairs to catch our ride to the airport at 5:00 and Raymond and Kathy were waiting for us. It was quite a relief to learn that Kathy was going to accompany us all the way to security, making sure we checked in okay (and we did).

While waiting for our plane, we stopped at a local restaurant in the airport to use of the remaining yuan. It was even more expensive there than the White Swan, but we knew it'd be hours before we ate a solid meal again. One of the employees tried to pick up Casey, and Jason told her, "no." I don't know if she was put off by that, but with all the change Marcie was experiencing, she really needed to be our priority.

The flight was a little bumpy at times, but impressively uneventful. There were five families in Premium Economy with newly adopted children from China, and at least one in economy. It was pretty full of businessmen, though. All the babies did very well. Marcie slept on me for about 6 hours, at which time I handed her off to Jason because my neck and back were aching. Then Jason held her for another hour or two, and then my mom played with her for a little bit. By the time they served breakfast, there was only about an hour left in the flight. Marcie didn't cry at all on the plane. We were very proud of her.

As we landed in Los Angeles and were taxing down the runway, people from the Economy section of the plane literally started to line up in the rows next to us. It was unbelievable! The flight attendant stood up and made one of the woman go back and sit down, but once we approached the gate, it was impossible to hold everyone back. Luckily, we were near the front of the plane and able to disembark quickly. I say it was lucky because the lines at customs were long. We were told at the consulate to get in the visitors line, but once we were at the airport, they told us to get in the citizens line, so we did. We were the third family processed through, and when the woman (whose last name was Schneider) stamped Marcie's visa, we could finally breathe easy-- it's official-- Marcie is a U.S. citizen.

Even though our bags were checked through all the way to San Diego, we had to exit the international terminal and get back in line at United's domestic ticketing area. We waited in line for over an hour, while only two agents checked in at least 6 flights' worth of people-- well, more than that, because two flights to San Diego departed just while we were in line. Also in line with us was a family making a red eye flight to Washington, D.C., and another family heading home back to Portland, Oregon. They had both been to Hunan Province for their daughters. Finally we made it through the ticketing line, and then we went on to security, where they threw out the bottle of water for Marcie's bottle (great. . .).

After security, we headed off to our gate, and as luck would have it CPK and Starbucks were closed. I bought a bottle of water at Roadhouse (a bar) and asked them to boil some water for me. We made Marcie's bottle, but she really didn't like it, and she threw up all over herself and all over my arm. After we got her cleaned up and changed and I went off to the bathroom to wash my arm, she threw up again, all over Jason. Lovely. But we were so close to home, we almost didn't care. . .

As the minutes ticked by-- first our boarding time passed, then our departure time passed, then we noticed the kiosk said our flight was "closed"-- we started wondering if it would have been a better idea to just rent a car and drive home. We could've been home by the time our plane finally boarded. There was an outgoing flight at our gate, and our plane couldn't park there until that plane departed-- hence the delay (though United never actually called it a delay). While we were waiting, they called up passengers to collect our paper tickets to speed up the process. When they called "Cheng," no one appeared. Any of the four times they called him. Then, when we got on the plane, we had to move seats because there weren't enough oxygen masks on our side of the plane. Then, they couldn't get the on-board number to match the checked-in number, and they went row-by-row, checking names to see who was missing. Of course, Cheng was missing. When our flight attendant got to our row, we asked if Cheng's bags were on the plane-- and said if they were, we wanted off. The flight attendant laughed, and I told her we weren't kidding. We'd just traveled to the U.S. from China, and I had a nine-month-old on my lap and a three-and-half year old at home. I wasn't about to stay on the plane with bags from a passenger who wasn't also on-board. I probably sounded like a lunatic, but bear in mind that at this point in time, I had been traveling for over 16 hours to get home (I can only imagine how people feel after The Amazing Race). She assured us his bags were not on the plane. I guess they figured out the numbers, because we took off shortly thereafter.

Back in San Diego, Jason's dad, my dad, and Jason's sister Tiffany were waiting to greet us at the commuter terminal. We piled into the two cars and headed back to Poway. Marcie, who has probably never experienced a car seat, was less-than-pleased. By the time we got to our freeway exit, she was screaming and sobbing. By the time we got to our driveway, she was nearly inconsolable. She'd traveled so well up to that point, it never dawned on me she wouldn't like the car-- or more specifically, the car seat. In the driveway, Jason's mom and Casey were waiting to greet us. By now, it was after midnight, and the whole neighborhood was dark. I picked up Casey on my right him to give him a great big hug, and he looked over at my left him and said, "It's Marcie!" like he couldn't believe it was her in person. He was really happy to see her.

Inside, Casey wanted to hold Marcie on his lap, he shared his toys with her, and he gave her hugs and kisses. He was genuinely happy to see her. We finally fell into bed around 3am, and Marcie woke up from 4-5am. Then I got up again with Marcie and Casey at 9am. Transitioning back to Pacific Time will certainly be a challenge with Marcie, but we sure are happy to be home. . . and I'm so proud of how Casey is doing as a big brother. Of course, we'll see how long that lasts!